latest news
Shhh…I Let My Kids Watch TV!
Hi Dr. Heather!
I got your link from Dad Gone Mad, and love your site! I think it’s wonderful to have someone sort of “official”; to converse with, as opposed to other moms who are, like me, just guessing at solutions!
My husband and I have a 2 1/2 year old girl, who is basically a VERY sweet, loving, funny kiddo. We are having a lot of fun with her at this stage, but I have a lot of questions. I love being her mom, but parenting is so hard sometimes! So my question is: How horrible is TV, really? I mean, we let her watch in the morning before going to daycare, and at night, but we watch educational stuff (well, mostly… like Little Einsteins or Miss Spider. Okay, sometimes we digress and watch Sponge Bob or Phineas and Ferb… okay, we do that A LOT lately - man, you’re good at getting folks to talk…) 
I’d say it’s maybe 2-3 hours a day, or more on weekends? I feel horrible even admitting this because I’m sure you’re going to tell me I’m a BAD EVIL MOMMY. The TV thing makes me feel so guilty, but, honestly, she likes it and when there’s nothing else to do, it helps me get things done! (Be gentle!)
Katie Kat
Lawrence, KS
Dear Katie Kat,
Your question is great. Don’t worry, no scoldings. In my house, we are All Backyardigans, all the time. (Not really. But plenty.)
“Do you let your kids watch TV?” is one of the most loaded questions we, as parents, ask each other. We hear snippets in the news about TV making kids turn into zombies with no ability to concentrate in school, socialize, or entertain themselves. We hear parents swearing they will not expose their children to TV, and feel ashamed to admit that we can’t imagine life without it! We wonder how the heck to get dinner on the table (or just sit down to think for a moment) without turning on the tube. And really, is Sesame Street so harmful after all?
Your question led me to seek out a television research expert. Frederick J. Zimmerman, PhD, is one of the foremost researchers in the field. He is a Director of the Child Health Institute at the University of Washington, and co-author of The Elephant in the Living Room: Make Television Work For Your Kids. Dr. Zimmerman gave me permission to quote his very interesting book. Page four says, "Parents should not feel guilty, powerless or even indifferent about television, however; its effects need not be adverse, and they are most certainly remediable. Television viewing can be beneficial. It can be entertaining, broadening, and educational. It just has to be used properly." The authors go on to describe the most important issues in TV-watching for kids:
- What is being watched? Content matters.
- How much is being watched? Amount matters.
- What is the context in which TV is watched? The rest of the child’s life and environment matters.
The book also explains that this new age of DRVs and TiVos is terrific for kid TV-watching, since it allows us to zip out the commercials and other negative stuff we don’t need them to see. Here’s Dr. Zimmerman’s website for more useful info.
As far as the BabyShrink’s house goes… we do watch TV, but I am pretty strict about what we watch. I agree that the content of the shows is so important…..and that’s what worries me most, not a Little Einstein or a Super Why or Miss Spider. But the Sponge Bob type stuff is a little too fast-moving, hectic and aggressive for me, and I think it can have an effect on the younger kids, especially. I am all in favor of using TV when you need a break to make dinner (or chat with a friend!), but obviously it shouldn’t be a long-term babysitter. (I know you’re not doing that.) Really, it should be in moderation; make sure they are getting physical outside play every day; the TV content should be as benevolent as possible; and then don’t feel guilty about it!!
Dear Readers: Next time, more from Katie Kat on Potty Training Problems….she had a lot of great questions!
Now go ahead, you know you want to comment about TV-watching and your attitudes about it! I know Katie Kat is not alone in her TV-viewing dilemma. I can’t wait to see what you all have to say about this post! (And don’t be afraid to disagree!)
Aloha,
Dr. Heather
The BabyShrink
24 Responses
to “Shhh…I Let My Kids Watch TV!”
1 Trackback(s)
- Sep 10, 2008: babyshrink.com » Blog Archive » If My Baby Watches TV, Am I A Horrible Parent?
I am SO GLAD you posted this! We let my son watch a little TV in the mornings while we attempt to get our acts together with diapering, dressing and feeding 2 small kids (oh yeah, and dressing and feeding ourselves in there somewhere…), and then we let him watch some at night before bedtime (with our son, this surprisingly DOES help him to wind down!). However, that is our GOAL. With me working from home full time, then trying to finish up college part time and my husband working 3rd shift, if I have a conference call and my husband can’t be roused out of bed even with a cattle-prod, I’ll throw in a DVD for my 3-year old to watch so I can actually talk during my conference calls! Like a good mom, I always feel extremely guilty afterwards. Does that count?
RACHEL D:
I WISH the guilt counted. (If it was worth $$$, I’d be rich!) Instead, all it does is take away from some of the enjoyment in life that’s right there and available…if only we’d relax a little bit.
My mentor is a highly accomplished infant mental health expert. You know what she said, when I asked her about this? “THANK GOD for a little TV once in awhile! Otherwise, how would a busy parent handle everything?”
And: our kids similar, in terms of bedtime. A little Tubbies or Super Why! before bed is often a nice way to wind them down after a crazy day. But of course, you need to know your own kids. Some kids DO get riled up by TV. But YOU KNOW BEST when it comes to your individual kids. Make informed choices. Thanks!
I like to use it in moderation. I let them watch some in the morning while I am waking up and getting breakfast ready. Of course when illness hits all bets are off and tv is freely viewed. When my eldest son was in the hospital for his heart surgeries our portable DVD player was a lifesaver. It kept him in bed and content when he really could not be moved all that much. Really as with a lot of things, moderation is key. Letting them have candy now and then will not make them obese and letting them watch a little tv is not going to turn them into zombies.
I feel no guilt about having the tv on. Of course, my daughter is 11 months old and barely pays attention unless I point something out, but she likes to dance to the Jeopardy theme, she’ll watch 5-10 minutes of “Signing Time” when I play it from our DVR, and she points at the tv and says “da!” when there’s a hockey game on (a skill I’ve been reinforcing every chance I get).
Sometimes I’ll deliberately put something fast-paced on just to show her contrasts. And when she’s older I’m probably going to have to just BUY the “Signing Time” DVDs. But for now I’m feeling no guilt at all.
Her brain will be turned to mush by having to converse with me; watching tv might make her smarter.
My daughter is 3 and for the longest time i felt guilty about the time is watches tv.Then a few days ago we were counting and she started counting in spanish i was blow away it was something she picked up from watching Dora. Now that did make me feel a little better about the time is does watch tv but i am still very picky about what she watches at this point there are only a hand full of show i will turn on for her and we are big Backyardigans fans here as well. Alot of the time the tv will be on when we are doing something else just as back ground noise.
TV is a staple in our house. I know that it’s supposed to be evil in large amounts, but I have had the exact opposite experience. The TV in our living room is always on. Always. It turns off automatically at 3am, and turns back on at 5am for playhouse Disney. Right now, due to financial issues, this is my son’s room. Until about 6-8 months ago, the TV was on whatever we were watching. My one year old’s favorite shows were Law & Order & Jeopardy. Now, he wakes up to Playhouse Disney sometime in the early morning, and watches it until the grown ups get up. If I get up without him hearing me (which is rare) I see him talking to, singing and dancing with, the characters on the tv.
The rest of the day, once we have all gotten up, and the shows on playhouse disney that we enjoy are over, (for me it’s JoJo’s Circus & Handy Manny, for my mom it’s The Koala Brothers,) then we put it on whatever we’re watching. We play with him, he spends plenty of time entertaining himself playing with his cars and other toys. He plays outside, he runs, he jumps, and he tries to do JoJo’s excercises on Feeling Good with JoJo. He talks to us non-stop. Unless there’s one of his commercials on, then he comes to a dead stop until it’s over. But the TV is always on, and I don’t see it impacting him negatively at all. Of course, I grew up with the TV on all the time too, so I guess to me it makes sense. It just doesn’t seem to be the evil that so many people seem to think it is to me.
oops, and I forgot to add, yes we do read too. And when we’re reading, the TV is on a music channel at a low volume so that there is still some background noise. And we read real books. I know that I’m supposed to be reading Fox in Socks or whatever, to him, but I read the Golden Compass to him and hubby, and am reading Harry Potter book one to him right now. A chapter or so a night, and he falls asleep to it, but yeah, the TV is still on…
I’m happy to see this post. I try hard to limit the amount of TV my 18 mth old watches. My goal was to not let her watch TV until she turned 2 but that went out the window when the sitter started letting her watch Sesame Street in the morning. She adores that show and can’t seem to get enough of it. So I let her watch Sesame Street or Barney on DVR while I make dinner. It’s a complete life saver. What worries me is now that I let her watch TV at home, she begs mercilessly for it daily(points to the TV and grunts as soon as we get home). Usually, I can distract her with a children’s music CD or books but sometimes that just won’t do and I relent and turn on the TV. Whining is just so effective!! We still spend way more time doing other things and TV remains limited to no more than an hour per day (unless I’m sick and then all bets are off). I’m trying hard to cut myself some slack in this department.
AWESOME MOM:
I totally agree, moderation is key. Now if I could just convince my kids of that….
BACKPACKING DAD:
You are one funny backpacker!
Actually one of the things they find is not so great for little minds (less than 2 or so) is the fast-paced cuts on the screen. Too much for the little minds to compute. You really can’t totally avoid it, but good to keep in mind.
APRIL:
Yeah, our 2-year-old learned all his letters from Super Why! with very little assistance from us.
I am trying to turn it on only for key moments when I need help or for a special show, ‘cuz the research is less positive on keeping it on in the background. Plus, it’s more of a treat for the kids then anyway, if it’s not on all the time.
Thanks for commenting!
Oy! My 17-mo-old points to the tv and says, “Backyarts, backyarts” Yes, oh sadly, he knows, loves, worships and stops the world’s biggest tantrums when Backyardigans come on. Welcome to the digital age!!
OATMEAL:
Each kid is different. 2 of our kids would love the TV on all the time as background noise, but to 1 kid, it’s irritating. My DH likes the background noise, but I myself can’t take it. This is where the interview I have coming up with the authors of Raising a Sensory Smart Child will be interesting. Overall, they say that the background noise is not great, but I do think for some, it is fine and actually calming. So again it comes down to your individual kid and family.
LORI:
Yeah, what would we do without it, when WE are sick?! Totally me last week.
The whining about it gets to me too, but at least our older kids have learned that it does not work. For now we just get earplugs when the youngest starts to whine for it!
AMY:
I am so in love with the Backyardigans, it’s sad. Talk about “OY” –I even googled Evan Lurie, the main composer, since the music is so good!
I have to say that i never really thought about background noise until i had my daughter she was born at 28 weeks and spent 6 weeks in the NICU and when we came home we had to have some kind of background noise to help keep her calm and now three years late it is still the same way. I can have it quit for long period of time but after awhile she does need some kind of noise we are pretty much to the point now where is it only a have to have at nap or bed time and then she listens to music. the point to all this is that i don’t think background noise is always bad.
Thanks for the writeup on TV watching. How would I ever get dinner done without Handy Manny getting my son to come hang out with him? I do have some limits- no watching before we leave for school in the morning, no TV if he is misbehaving or being rude. He generally only Handy Manny or Blues Clues, both of which I think provide good lessons (being a good neighbor, working as a team, puzzle solving).
I very much agree with you about content matters.
I think these shows also contribute to the development of his imagination. I’ve heard him wandering around with a “handy dandy notebook” that I bought him and saying “Now the first clue is…”
So funny!
APRIL:
You are so right! Everyone is different, and every kid is different. I have a kid who needed total silence as a baby…any noise really upset him easily….but now he is 5, and it’s only really loud noises that bother him when he’s really tired or upset. I think they slowly outgrow some of their sensitivities. But I know for myself, I can’t tolerate much noise; it’s all about knowing ourselves and our kids, and our unique differences.
BONNIE:
There is so much garbage out there on TV, yet shows like the ones you mention are just cute and nice and educational, and they LOVE them…so why not, once in awhile?
Wow, I love reading this. I have a few T.V. nazi friends and sometimes I feel like such a bum of a mom if I let my 4 yr old spend an hour watching TV so I can GET SOMETHING DONE! I always make sure it is a great DVD or DVR program, but occasionally SpongBob’s high pitched voice takes over our living room. Since having a second child it has been a lifesaver. I know my older son is safe, not making a hug mess, and not going to interrupt while trying to get baby to sleep. I have to admit, he did have an electronic babysitter those first few weeks after baby # 2 w/ reflux took over. But things are back to normal and mostly we play outside, do art, read or just get out of the house period. And some of the smart things that come out of his mouth I KNOW I didn’t teach him. Thanks TIVO!
TINA LAVENDER:
Our youngest has watched the most TV, and at age 2 yrs 2 months, he can recognize all his letters, upper and lower case, and is the most social of the gang. And believe me, he does NOT read letters because we have taught him! (Thank you, SuperWhy!)
Now, any shrink worth her blog would never RECOMMEND TV in order to teach important things. But yeah, the point is….it CAN be helpful, in many ways, so we should stop beating ourselves up about it!
So we’ve established tv is okay and necessary sometimes for all of us (although I have one friend whose sone is 2 and has no idea what the tv even is! I’m in awe!) other than the super why and the backyardigans -what shows do you think are okay and what shows not? Is there anything that comes on treehouse that isn’t too much? Dora and Diego I think are good - but I’m curious as to what other shows you might recoomend?
Hi Anita,
In general, I look for shows that are NOT VIOLENT, have some kind of EDUCATIONAL/CREATIVE STORYLINE, and have a SLOWER PACING than much of what is on TV today; little minds process slowly. The TV shows they watch (if at all) should be paced accordingly. Happy viewing!