latest news
BabyShrink’s Advice for Traveling with Young Children
Whew! We’ve made it back from our trip to California. Even though we’re still unpacking, I’m thrilled that the trip was so fantastic — our best yet. I’ve been thinking about what made it such a success, and here are some of the tidbits I thought I’d share:
EXPECTATIONS. Have very few. The greater your expectations, when traveling with young kids, the greater your disappointment. Case in point: On one of our Disneyland days, I literally went on NOT ONE SINGLE RIDE, and I’m a huge Disney fan. My goals for the day were far more basic: Make sure the snack situation was in order for hungry-at-any-moment kids. Scope out an air-conditioned store in advance to hang out with a napping 2-year-old in a stroller. Strategize with Hubby so as to avoid the parade crowds, and get the kids on the rides they most wanted to do. My reward: Everyone had a great day, despite the huge crowds.
PLAN FOR ADULT FUN. We worked very hard to juggle the schedules of family and friends in order to arrange a Vegas trip — without the kids. I don’t even gamble; I didn’t play ONE SINGLE GAME. (I’m starting to sound a bit boring, aren’t I?) But we got to have lovely sit-down meals with the best of friends, enjoy an amazing show, and sleep in two days in a row. All of this made the other struggles of the trip easy to manage, because I knew we had a fun reward coming up. (Here’s a photo for you DGM fans.)
MAKE TIME FOR THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. We have close friends and lots of family in Cali. Simply arranging days to let the cousins and kid friends play together was one of the most rewarding aspects of the trip. Nothing fancy, just hanging out. Playing at the park, or in Grandma and Grandpa’s backyard. The time together is already building a foundation of closeness among the kids that’s priceless.
DON’T FREAK OUT ABOUT TRAVEL DAYS. Yes, traveling with kids is challenging. Yes, getting to the airport, dealing with TSA, snotty airline employees (and child-free passengers), delays, car seats and rental cars all add up be quite ridiculously impossible, at times. I know of which I speak: Last year, we were trapped in an airport for 11 (yes, eleven) hours with our kids, then ages 6, 4 and 1. The delay meant that we would have to do an unanticipated red-eye flight to the mainland; 5 1/2 hours, and we would arrive at our destination at 5am. And by then I was out of diapers, had one old bottle left, and no food. How did we handle it? I have no idea. I’ve blocked it, like any other traumatic experience!
Seriously, it’s a day (or two) of hell, and you just get through it. If you need help, start asking airport or airline employees. Many of them will play dumb, but others will be able to help; last year we had to ask 4 or 5 different workers for someone to help us get from one terminal to the other with 2 sleeping kids and 12 bags. Eventually, a guy came with one of those cool electric carts to whisk us to our gate. We’ve had all sorts of problems with airplane seating; being assigned a “1-4″ configuration with 3 little kids, and other inanities; we just start asking workers (and even other passengers) for advice and help, and eventually, things are usually worked out. DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. BE NICE AND APOLOGETIC TO FELLOW TRAVELERS, who often take pity and can make things easier. Look for little, unexpected moments of relief: the computer terminals now available in many airports offer endless interest to toddlers, even if they never get to navigate off the “pay now” page. Get some ice, a couple of cups, and let the little ones at it; I have no idea why, but they seem to LOVE ice in paper cups. Find an uncrowded area away from the action, and let the kids go crazy. Run races, play tag, change stinky diapers…make yourself at home. And when you finally get to your destination, it’s a day of recovery, and then you’re off and enjoying your vacation!
Lots of you ask whether it’s worth the hassle to travel with young kids. I say GO FOR IT, as long as you manage your expectations, plan for some adult fun, pace yourself on travel days, and stay light on your feet in response to the kids’ needs. And don’t forget to take lots of photos and videos; in addition to being awesome reminders of these precious days with the little ones, you can keep the kids entertained all the way back home by reviewing them (over, and over, and over….)
Do you have other tips for making traveling with little kids more manageable? Do tell!
We sure are a good- looking group. And fun too.
How timely. My husband and I are getting ready to take a road-trip (to a wedding 6 hours away) with our 4 year old. We’ve done the driving thing before, so we know deep in our bones to lower our expectations. For a road trip, the biggest issue we let go of is expecting to get there in the time mapquest says it should take. We hit the road early and expect to have to stop a lot, so when it happens, we’re not (too) frustrated or bitter.
For this trip, I’m in the wedding, so our schedule will be determined by other people (what with rehearsals, appointments, etc.). Not being in control of when and what we get to do is hard for even for me and harder yet for a small child, so I’m planning to bracket the trip with stuff that is fun for the tot. We’re going to a hotel with a pool, so when we get there and just before we leave, I’ll take her to the pool. It’ll burn up some of her energy and hopefully leave her with some good memories too. Going to the pool is not what I would choose to do with my free time there, but the payoff will be worth it if it yields a happier kid.
For flying with toddlers, I recommend the portable DVD player if you can swing it. We just took two 7 hour flights with our not-quite-two year old, and on the way there we were all “We’ll just break it out for emergencies only.” We just about turned ourselves inside out trying to entertain the child, and when the emergency came, she was too far gone to be truly distracted by the video. Not to say that it was a bad trip; except for that one short “emergency” situation, it was fine, but gosh were we exhausted! On the way back, we checked our high-mindedness with our luggage and fired up the DVD player more or less as soon as we passed 10,000 feet. It kept the baby calm and entertained and quiet until she fell asleep, even as babies around her were screaming and crying.
Also, YMMV, but we tried sitting her in the airplane seat without her carseat (we used this FAA approved harness thing called CARES), and while it is a hassle to lug the carseat onto the plane, it worked WAY better for my girl. She was cued that when she’s in the seat, she’s IN the seat, so she wasn’t constantly asking to “walk, peese.” Also, airplane seats = not meant for toddlers. None of us were comfortable on the way there.
Also, SNACKS. LOTS OF SNACKS. We had practically an entire snack food grocery on the plane with us. Eating helped with the ear pressurization issues, and most kids will happily eat when they are bored. We were fans of dehydrated and dried fruit, teddy grahams, and cheese crackers. Also, since we were traveling, meals were irregular at best, and keeping her stuffed full of snacks helped keep her happy. Was it the most nutritious thing ever? Nope, but she didn’t go hungry!
I’ll stop now. Hope this can be a little helpful to someone.
I’m so jealous: Disneyland and Vegas on the same trip. And Vegas without the kids.
And then you got to go home to Hawaii??
Sign me up.
Oh, yeah, blah blah blah traveling with kids pithy comment here blah blah blah something on point here blah blah blah.
I love Disneyland.
I think that’s some great advice there, especially about not having too many expectations.
We did a lot of traveling before we had kids and it took us longer than you would believe possible to accept that our typical vacation schedule would have to change.
We recently got back from a week in San Francisco. Before kids we would have stayed at a boutique hotel in town, taken public transport and walked around the city, eaten delicious food in ethnic restaurants… you get the picture. This time around: an airport hotel (only place which would accept us at short notice with three kids), lots of driving, lots of “crowd control” (control of our crowd of boisterous children) and in the end, two tired parents and very little seen.
But what we did see, at the kids’ pace, they enjoyed. We also changed our plans for the last two days to include the beach and the forest, which they proclaimed the best parts of the trip. So much for San Francisco, but I do consider it a successful vacation.
As for asking airline employees - great tip! Never be afraid to ask. And keep asking. On our flight back the five of us had been assigned seats in different places all around the plane. I asked at every point in the process and nobody could help us. Until I got to the gate, where they spent 20 minutes shuffling people around so we had a whole row. I know three under 7s can’t sit alone but the most I had expected was to split the kids between me and my husband.
Oh, and …. Disneyland? Las Vegas? I wish!
I live in SoCal and have never been to a Disney park in my life. You guys are making me feel lame.
Well, that’s not precisely true. My parents took me to Disneyland when I was 3 months old. They’ve always said “We’ve *taken* you to Disneyland.” That was really unfair, wasn’t it?
HOT WIFE:
Can I tell everyone about the 22-year-old guys who hit on you in Vegas? Pleeeeease?
AMY:
I agree 100% with your suggestion to arrange for the kids to BURN OFF ENERGY before expecting them to sit for long periods of time. Look at it as a required part of any trip — even if it’s just to a local family restaurant — let the kids run around like crazy in a safe place ahead of time. I see so many parents who are aggravated that their kids can’t/won’t sit still in restaurants, religious services or airplanes…but kids have HUGE needs for energy expenditure; I always suggest at least 45 minutes a day. You can talk to them in advance about how you will arrange for them to run around…and then they will help out and have good manners by sitting still for awhile, playing quietly, etc. —Hope you have a great road trip!
PATRICIA:
Snacks are HUGE, I totally agree. And ditto for the car seat suggestion: It is a strong cue to baby that they are now safety cuddled into THEIR seat, and they know what is expected of them…to sit quietly, (and Please God to nap a little!) Shelpping thru the airport with all that stuff is a challenge, but there are some great stroller/wheeled products out that can make it workable. One trip thru the airport, I had a baby in a Bjorn, a huge backpack full of baby/kid stuff on my back, was pushing a stroller with a toddler, and pulling a wheeled carseat bag behind me…while Hubby monitored the preschooler AND carried 2 huge 23-pound carseats, PLUS another carryon! Quite a scene..but we sure got our workout…and it was a real boon to have the carseats on board.
BPD:
I am a HUGE fan of Disneyland…people thought we were nuts, arranging for 5 nights in Anaheim, right around the 4th of July. But it was AMAZING, and we stayed an extra day…and I had to tear Hubby away…he wanted to stay yet ANOTHER day! I think we had just found the right strategy for managing the kids and the park. I can’t wait to go back. (What are your favorite rides? Mine are Soarin’ Over California and STAR TOURS….my geek streak coming out!)