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Is BabyShrink “Good Enough”?
I spent the day at Evans World Headquarters, letting my two-year-old nap and hang loose with the Evans kids, while my five and seven-year-olds whooped it up at Disneyland with Dad. It was the first time in a year that we’d been behind the Orange Curtain, and it was great to spend time with our awesome friends, despite the challenges of vacationing with three young children. (I’ll have several posts about that coming up, I promise.) I peeked over Danny’s shoulder as he put the finishing touches on his latest post, and when I saw a link to BabyShrink, I freaked. You see, I’m still (still!) in the process of getting the glitches worked out of my new site redesign. I’ve gotten tons of compliments, particularly about my fantastic logo, created by my old friend and super-talented graphics and brand designer, Glenn Sakamoto. Yet I’ve been furiously (trying to!) communicate with my web guy about what appear to me to be glaring mistakes and problems with the operations of the site. It’s nowhere near perfect yet. Good Enough, but not perfect. And the readership at DadGoneMad is massive, compared to mine. A link from Danny can singlehandedly shoot my readership into the stratosphere. So when he links to me (usually without warning me in advance, like today), I feel the pressure. I’d better have something good posted! And, yikes! What about those broken graphics and disorganized sections?!
After a mini-meltdown, I asked Danny for advice. What do I write about, now that my site is acting up and you’re sending hoards of DGM fans over to check me out? Write about that, he said, in his minimalist editorial way. Show your readers that their struggles are your struggles, Grasshoppah.
So I’m here at 1 am, scratching out a post in longhand, because the wireless in this hotel sucks. And I’m thinking about the main message here at BabyShrink, the message of Good Enough parenting. Not perfect parenting, just Good Enough. So, just like my imperfect website does a Good Enough job of answering your questions (I hope), it’s all a work in progress; like our kids are, and as we are, as parents.
BabyShrink is about developing confidence as parents, to understand our own unique children, despite what the “experts” (including me) tell you is best. It’s about trusting the powerful, driving force of development in our kids that amazingly results in a Good Enough outcome, most of the time. It’s about being realistic in this spectacularly miraculous, yet incredibly demanding journey of raising children. It’s about letting go of the need for perfection, and letting go of the need to control how our kids ultimately turn out. And it’s about taking a chill pill when our kids (or our websites) don’t perform up to our (unrealistic) expectations.
I’ve been nurturing BabyShrink along through it’s own developmental stages, and the transition to this latest stage has been a little rocky. And instead of focusing on the successes of the site - a loyal, interested and supportive readership, the ability to reach thousands of parents, not to mention my own deep sense of fulfillment and excitement about the project - sometimes I get lost in the details of what should be happening; what’s not going well. But like a baby learning to walk, it’s a beautiful thing, despite the wobbles. And sometimes I need to be reminded of that.
So I have the privilege of sharing BabyShrink with you, growing pains and all. I hope you find it to be Good Enough.
As always, I welcome your questions. My turnaround time is usually one to two weeks, but I’m still answering every question that’s submitted. I have a couple of posts coming up about summertime challenges and traveling with kids (I’m doing a little bit of “research” on that now!), as well as my first podcast, which will be a series on coping with being a new mom.
And now, I’m going to Disneyland!
We had a great time with you two yesterday. We are all eager for more time with our dear friends.
I know it is not easy but it can be such a relief to just let go. Let go of the stress and pressure and demands on ourselves. There really is a limit to how much can be done in one day. I have no doubt that you will make this site look the best it can and respond to your readers the best you can. I also know that that will be far better than “good enough”. You are providing a very valuable service here, Dr. Heather.
We love you no matter what your website looks like.
I think the site looks fantastic. You will never disappoint your readers with a Design issue. Blogs are ideas, images (even photoblogs are ideas). We come here for your help and sincerity, not for the layout. I can’t even tell what the site looks like anyway because I’m reading from my Blackberry. Blah blah blah, shut up BPD…
Dearest Hot Wife:
I look to you for support and inspiration in the “letting go” department. And I always know that you’ll tell me like it is..no sugar-coating. So when you’re happy….I’m happy.
Baby T is talking about Rusty and the Big Kids and what a great time we had yesterday. See you tomorrow!
Dear BPD,
Blah blah huh? No way. I always appreciate your stopping by and contributing to the discussion here. And I do thank you for the reality-check. It’s easy to get lost in the “trees”
of technology, especially when I’m so clueless and new to it all!
Thanks for the compliment, too. I’m glad you like it!
Of course BabyShrink is good enough! It’s MORE than good enough. It is inspirational.
The amount of care and attention you give to your readers’ concerns demonstrates such an incredible commitment to helping others that it not only nudges me to do more in my own life but also makes me feel that there really are other people out there who will be there for me (even virtually) when things don’t seem to be going to plan.
You keep posting, we’ll keep reading and learning.
Is it me or is it truly refreshing to find a psychologist encountering self-doubt and performance anxiety?
H-Dawg, you know your fans keep coming back here for a reason. They love you, just like we do. You’re good. You’re nice. You’re pretty. You’re smart.
Maybe I should start a new site called ShrinkShrink, where I answer inquiries from trouble psychologists.
WOW - not only do you get to be FRIENDS with Danny and Hot Wife, you got a link on his site? But of course! I know you’ve worked hard on getting the new site going and it looks FAB. The great thing is, the more readers YOU get, the more info we ALL get! I’d say that’s WIN, WIN for all of us!
YAY Dr. Heather!!!
Dr. Heather
While I didn’t see the initial site….first time visitor….I think you’ve done a great job with the design.
I’m excited to start reading your site and getting some ideas and inspiration for dealing with my kids. I have a 4 year old with a life-threatening illness (although we are anticipating an end of treatment in OCT) and 2 great older kids who are dealing with all the fallout of that life.
I don’t know if you’ve ever addressed a situation like that, but I’ll be looking for it.
Free THERAPY! I love it.
–Anissa
http://www.hope4peyton.org
“Good Enough” parenting is what you’re selling? I’m buying! I’ve recently started a new blog myself about the same topic. I’m psychotically hard on myself when it comes to parenting my 4-year-old son, so I’ve been working hard at seeing the “Good Enough” in my parenting. I think we all need more of this! Thanks for pushing it.
My first visit (clicked over from DGM, obviously), and I think it looks great! Not that I worry too much about blog design anyway, content is what counts.
I am very excited about your message, having spent my first years as a mother dodging well-meaning people wielding one-size-fits-all baby rule books (yes, you know the ones).
And … um … I may be submitting a question for you shortly
Everything looks great! Seriously, I know it’s like having people come to your house that you’ve never had over before, and you’ve never been to their place so you have no idea about how they really live. Don’t worry about the meta so much, just keep writing the great posts you write, and let the rest take care of itself. You’re doing a great job. No one else in the Parenting Universe has the balls to talk about Good Enough Parenting. GEP should be the goal, since perfect is a constantly moving, unattainable goalpost.
Now on to the concept of GEB- Good Enough Blogging- good enough that you don’t get wound up with writer’s block convinced you have nothing of value to say. Ah, if only I took my own advice…
MamaBigdog
Brilliant!