BabyShrink Handles the Grossest Problem Yet: Poop Smearing
BabyShrink readers Angie, Sharon and Stacy have emailed me over the past few weeks with the same horrified question: Why is my toddler suddenly smearing poop everywhere, and HOW CAN I GET THAT DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR TO STOP?! Although I tried to offer some suggestions, I had never experienced the same thing with my kids, so I really didn’t have much “oomph” behind my answers.
No, it's not play-doh.
And then the Great Karmic Finger pointed at my household. And that finger had poop smeared on it.
Our TT is now 2 1/2. He’s kinda-sorta potty trained. He’s healthy (minus one hernia, which I will update everyone on later in the week), developmentally on-track, and he’s got the “easiest” temperament of all our three kids. But over the past few weeks, it’s happened three times; he’s pooped in his diaper, then reached in to decorate his crib with it. And it’s the grossest clean-up job I’ve ever had to do.
Your story is similar. Your toddler is somewhat engaged in potty training. They’re at the age when they can understand most of what we’re telling them…and certainly understand that poop is yucky. Then all of a sudden, you discover your little darling has smeared poop all over the place. Reader Sharon tells her stinky story this way, “She’s in her crib about to nap, and I hear the usual noises of her just talking to herself. Then I hear this: “Mommy, yucky.” So I go in there and see the worse scene of my life!!!! She apparently had a poopy diaper, took it off, and proceeded to smear the walls, her crib and everything in the vicinity with poop. I was mortified! I quickly yanked her up, stripped her down and got in her the bath as fast as possible. I had to call my husband and tell him to come home so I could sanitize her room. Ugh, it was awful!”
Is This Normal?
Yes dear reader, it is. Not necessarily common, but normal. A 2-year-old is struggling with attempting to master his own body, to control it’s functions, and is quite curious about his productions. (They don’t call it the Anal Stage for nothin’!) Preschool teachers will tell you it’s common to see children this age quite interested in messes, too. They can alternate between being quite the obsessive neat-freak, OR the poop-smearing opposite — as they struggle to master this stage. I would say, however, that poop-smearing past the age of 3 1/2 — 4 would concern me. An evaluation, starting with your pediatrician, should occur in that case.
How Do I Get It To Stop?!
First, know that, for an otherwise typically developing toddler, this should be a time-limited, passing phase. Nobody likes the smell of poop. It’s an experiment that is naturally self-limiting!
The most important thing is to control your own reaction. Don’t overreact; you risk reinforcing the behavior. If Junior knows that Mom will FREAK every time this happens, he’s got a potent weapon to use, when necessary! Instead, calmly say “Yucky. Poop is dirty. It belongs in your diaper or the potty. No more touching poop.” As grossed out as you may be, take a deep breath (outside of the room!), clean up the offensive little beast first, and close up the room until you have backup. You’ll need time, and someone to watch Mr. Stinky, while you break out the Clorox.
Next, it’s time to get practical and LIMIT ACCESS TO THE DIAPER. Go out and find some toddler sized “onesies”, or other one-piece clothing. Some creative parents have even put one-piece PJs on backwards to further limit access to the diaper area. Keep them clothed this way as needed, until the phase has passed.
Also, take it as a sign of interest in potty-training. Use it as an opportunity to review the proper use of the potty, and validate their interest in poop. “Here, make your poop in your potty. Then when you’re done, you can look at it. We don’t touch it, but you can look at it if you want to see what it looks like.”
Finally, create opportunities for your creative genius to make acceptable messes. One of the hallmarks of this phase is the desire to make — and clean up — messes. It’s how we eventually learn to keep things clean and organized, and how to handle all the messes in life. So it’s a vitally important lesson to learn. Offer messy finger painting, kitchen mixing and squashing, and outdoor mud play, liberally. Talk about it, as you do. “I know you want to make messes. THIS is a good place to make a mess. I will help you clean it up later. Here, let’s make a mess together!”
Hope that helps, Gang. Happy Cleaning!
Aloha,
Dr. Heather
The BabyShrink
Mom of Four, Parenting Expert
PS: THIS POST HAS BECOME MY ALL-TIME MOST-READ ENTRY! (Is that weird, or what?!)
FOR MORE TIPS ON THIS GROSSEST OF PROBLEMS, SEE MORE OF MY THOUGHTS ON IT HERE.
49 Responses to BabyShrink Handles the Grossest Problem Yet: Poop Smearing
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Aloha, I’m Dr. Heather
Never had this one (thank heavens), but both of mine went through a phase when they were first wiping alone in the bathroom of using the shower curtain, the outside of the bowl, or the nearest wall if they happened to get poo on their fingers. Blech!
El Diablo, who is now 6, went through a hysterical phase last year whenever the poop was too mushy and was difficult to wipe. We had screaming nervous breakdowns and he begged me to do it for him! We came close to a recurrence last week, but I told him he had to keep wiping (and flushing after every couple of wipes) until he was clean and that we could wash hands if they got messy. He did finally get it done, hooray!
Three cheers for butts I don’t have to wipe anymore!
Hi Donna from Kansas,
I envy you!
I’ve also got the 5-year-old who screams that he CAN’T wipe his own tush….(except for at school or a friend’s house, of course!) Cleaning the bathroom these days requires a major commitment of chemicals and elbow grease. And you’re right…you NEVER KNOW what you’ll find, or where you’ll find it…
Babyshrink,
Hey, thanks so much for getting back to me on this particular subject!! My son, T, being my first baby left me feeling a bit disconcerted about the whole poop shenanigan and wondering if anybody else’s kid did such stuff.
The escapade only lasted a little over week and after a few serious discussions about how gross it was . . . then it was over.
Thanks again!
-Stacy
My daughter just did a “poop-smearing” event the other day. She smeared it all over herself. I took the little turd (ha ha) into the tub and just threw the onesie she had away. That’s right, she was IN a onesie. She’s only 18 months old – should I introduce the potty already? My 3 1/2 year old still isn’t potty trained!
BTW, after I got over the absolute disgusting parts, it was funny. How about “Dirty Jobs” does an episode on parenting poop-smearing kids?!?
Hi Rachel,
Lucky you! Try to add shorts or leggings to the onesie to further limit access. (She probably reached in from the side, right?) And sure, you can introduce the potty — some are lucky enough to get away with potty training at this age. (One of our kids did it at 19 months.)
And heck yeah, that would be a great episode of “Dirty Jobs”! The dirtiest yet, I’d bet!!
The one-piece PJs on backwards is great advice. We only had one poop-smearing episode, thank goodness, but my daughter did go through a long phase of getting undressed everytime she went to bed, then we’d find a bed full of pee in the morning. The backwards PJs did the trick. Good luck everyone!
Good post. I tried the back to front PJ’s which worked a treat and we now have a handle on the situation. Thanks for the great advice. Jo (UK)
OMG My son did this today(not the first time) it happens about once a week for the last month. I had zip up pjs on him too, but he obviously learned how to unzip today and it was everywhere!!!! He is 23 months and in a big boy bed so i have an entire bathroom and tub full of toys i have to clean. But if your kids arent poop smearing yet but take off their diaper to pee, go get painters tape ( the blue tape from lowes) It works wonders if you use it (unlike me today) its easy for you to get off but they have no clue how to.
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Wow, finally an answer to this issue! My daughter is 27 months old, and after the intoduction to playdough- the poop smearing returned again after I thought it was gone for good! I will try the backwards PJ’s. She is very clever about removing her clothes. Thanks for the great advice!
Finally, some advice for this gross problem!!! My son is 3 1/2 and did this for the first time at 19 months. Then about a year later it happened, and maybe a few months later. But for 5 months now it’s happened SO MANY TIMES, more than I can count. Some weeks it’s 3 or 4 times, some weeks not at all. It got worse when he got potty trained — but he’ll only pee on the potty, he waits for his nap or bedtime diaper to poop. (Does that qualify as potty trained?) I have two younger kids, an 18-month-old and a 3-week-old, and the poop cleanup days are SUCH a nightmare. Many times I have to leave them screaming for me, and shut all the kids in separate rooms so I can sanitize the messy room while they’re safe. It can take me over an hour to clean it all, when I have to sniff around the room because it still smells. I’m at the end of my rope and so frustrated by this!!! Nothing we’ve tried works, for two years now. I am going to try these tips right away, and am praying they help.
I’m sorry this post had to be your most read entry but I’m glad I found it! We’ve been dealing with the poop smearing issue for a few weeks now and it’s frustrating and gross. I wasn’t sure why, when my son had never done this before, he started at 2 1/2. Thanks for the tips, I’m going to try them starting now!
My 2 yrs daughter is in the stage where she wipes poo everywhere, any ideas how to stop her!
Corinne ~ Try some of the tips mentioned in this post, and then email me if you still need help. We can work out a Parent Coaching plan to help you!
I am ready to lose my marbles. Our son, who turns 2 tomorrow has been doing this same poop nastyness for about a month now. We have tried putting on onesies backwards (too smart for that, he still manages to shimmy out of them), duct taping his diaper on.. still no luck as he digs his grubby little fingers in the back or through the leg and still manages to smear his poop all over himself and his room! I am at the end of my rope. We have been steam cleaning and bleaching his room at least twice a week for the past month. He is practically potty trained during the days and on top of the pooping insists on being naked all the time. He is our 3rd and neither of the older 2 ever did such things. I dont know what to do anymore!
Dominika,
What a mess! I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. He IS a little young for potty training– is it possible that he is resisting it? I also wonder if he is asking for more time doing “messy” activities, as he sounds like a tactile little guy. Sometimes that helps.
If you were a Parent Coaching client, I would have you record and send me the times of day that he does this, where he usually is, and what he’s usually doing. Then we could analyze the information and make a plan to help him stop this. If you try everything in my posts and still need help, I would be happy to talk with you personally to develop a plan. Check out my Parent Coaching page for more info. Or, you can just email me at BabyShrink@gmail.com if you’re interested in setting up an appointment to work this out. Good luck and aloha!
This made me laugh when I saw the title. I had a poop-smearer, too. She only did it occasionally, and only when a babysitter was here. A baby-sitter she didn’t like very much. Once the babysitter left (I wonder why she stopped coming!?) and was replaced by a much-loved new sitter, the poop-smearing stopped.
Lesson: If you’re 2, poop-smearing is a good way to run off a babysitter
Hi Lauren,
Smart kid!
Seriously, this is my most popular topic. I get by far the most google traffic from “poop smearing”! Who knew? I get several hits every day on it. Aloha!
I had this problem of poop smearing over two periods of time with my son, now 3. I can laugh now, especially reading this blog! It first happened when he was around 20 months of age – all over the cot and himself on numerous occasions and we finally got through it with the onesie on back to front. It resurfaced at age 2 1/2 shortly after our baby was born and would usually occur during ‘nap time’ or ‘room time’ – all over the carpet and toys. Ykkk! I am happy to say the phase passed after a couple of months. I found myself googling this topic over and over and found solace in the online community of mothers of poop smearers! Glad to know we are not alone.
Well you can add me to the list. My son started poop smearing at about 2 years old. It wasn’t often just a few times but often enough for me to start googling. I found this place that had large onesies which I bought and instantly started using. We are in the middle of potty training at home and in school and since he kept peeing on the onesie I had the bright idea to not put one on him. Big mistake! He and his sister were in the other room while I was cooking and I see him run by me with no pants on. I grab him and wash him up but then comes his sister who is two looking like she has war paint on her face! Once I cleaned them both up I took on the task of sanitizing the room. Needless to say I went back to the onsies but recently he has learned how to either get to the pull-up through the onsie and today he has learned how to unsnap it. I did notice that he didn’t poop at all for 2 days and then today he tried to hand me a big old ball of crap. I’m wondering if I incorporate more refuge (apple juice)and loosen his bowels if that will help him stop?
I’m so happy to have found this site and to know that I am not as alone as I feel. By the way today I had to clean up his trains too because I think he was using the crap as boulders. LOL
thanks for having this web site, I really needed to know there were others like me going through the poop smearing,I have twin sons and they are 2and they do this a lot I HATE it so it’s helped me a lot just to come on here so I didn’t think my kids were crazy there for a minute i thought there was something really wrong with them, but I guess not Thank god!
My daughter is almost 2 and she’s done this a few times in the past month. This behavior began about a week after her younger brother he was born. Is it possible this is some form of rebellion, or a way of telling us that she’s not happy having to share her mommy and daddy with her little brother. Suggestions?
Congrats on the new baby! Listen — the most difficult thing I’ve ever done is having a toddler and new baby to care for at the same time. It’s a whirlwind of crazy disasters and wacky behavior. So your toddler’s behavior may have nothing — or everything — to do with her new baby brother. You really can’t be sure at this point. In the meantime, use a lot of the preventative measures I mentioned in my posts — onesies, etc — and lots of reassurance for her. Make sure she gets special time with you and her mom — without her brother — even for a short time, as often as possible. And let her know you understand that she feels upset that he’s now in the family, if she ever seems to express that feeling. And DON’T push the potty training — nobody needs that headache right now — unless she’s expressing an interest and desire. Follow her — don’t lead. Good luck and let us know!
Dr. Heather,
My 2 1/2 year old son has been taking his diaper off and pooing at bedtime/naptime for almost 6 months now – it started after we introduced the potty to him. We tried taping his diaper on but he can stretch it out enough that he can wriggle it off his body. The backwards one piece PJs worked like a charm but now it is too warm for that so I have had to stop it. We’ve tried giving him a cold shower instead of a warm bath (as suggested by some other websites) but after about 5 cold showers of torture (for both of us) he is still doing it. I’ve tried sitting down with him and explaining that touching poo is gross and that he isn’t allowed to take his diaper off, only Mommy and Daddy. He seems to understand that he shouldn’t be doing it because he tells us he isn’t supposed to but then every day/night it is the same thing. The annoying part is that he will go poo on the potty in the morning and then still poo at nap time (sometimes twice at nap time! Not fun cleaning up two messes in a row). He is in a big boy bed so he gets up and will get toys to ‘cover up’ his mess or he’ll run into his litter brother’s room where the change table is (carrying poo on his feet) to get wipes to try and clean it up and also get a new diaper. It seems like he just doesn’t want to sit in poo but surprisingly when he has a diaper on and poos, he does not want us to change him. It is as if he really hates the ‘diaper changing’ process. We try to tell him that he won’t need to have a diaper changed if he would use the potty all the time but whenever we ask him if he would like to use the potty or wear a diaper he ALWAYS chooses wearing a diaper. I get it that he is extremely high energy and doesn’t want to stop whatever he is doing to use the potty so that is why he chooses the diaper.
Anyways, I am at the end of my rope since I have a 4 week old to tend to constantly through out the day as well. I was just wondering if there is anything else we can try. He plays with mud/dirt a lot in our backyard and he loves playdoh so I don’t know what else to do except maybe try finger painting? Are there any 1 piece pajamas out there that are for summer weather?? There has to be some PJ contraption that can outsmart a 2 year old
Sorry for the extremely long post!
Brea
Hi Brea,
Wow, you do have your hands full!! Don’t forget that your explanations of “gross” don’t matter to him — for some reason, he likes having the poop around, or he just doesn’t want to leave it in the potty. Little kids have all sorts of kooky ideas about the value of poop. (Freud wasn’t totally wrong!!)
I’m guessing that he is having MORE poops because when he DOES poop, he is withholding some, knowing it will cause a conflict. I suggest any way to remove the stress from the situation — after all, he’s got a new baby in the house to adjust to, and that’s a big deal. I would suggest telling him that you are listening to him, and he does NOT have to use the potty. He can poop whenever he wants in his diaper — and you will NOT be mad (and you must not be). Then, try to anticipate when he will poop, because it sounds like he does have a pattern, and simply clean him up as quickly as possible so he doesn’t have a chance to make a mess. He may not like the cleanup process, but give him the opportunity to play with something he usually doesn’t get to hold, and talk to him about how it is HIS choice about the potty. Take the stress out — for BOTH of you!
When he matures a bit more, you can follow his interest in potty training — it WILL kick in again, and if not, ask his doctor. But many kids — boys especially — are not fully potty trained until 3 1/2, or even beyond!
My daughter is 2 years old now and has been a poop-smearer since she was in the crib (around 18 mos.). She had stopped for awhile until her brother was born last November, then it became more frequent again. I tried not to make a big deal out of it at first but, now that she is 2, it’s hard to explain to her or get her to tell me when she has to poo. I try to catch her before the smearing begins but…sometimes it’s almost impossible, especially having her 6 month old brother to tend to. I will try the one-piece pj backwards but…she’s a clever one, I don’t think this will be enough to stop her. I’m really hoping she grows out of this. My 2 older step-daughters never did this, nor did myself nor my husband when we were her age. Part of me thinks it’s for attention due to having a little brother…another part of me thinks she just doesn’t like having poo in her diaper….she usually goes to hide when she has to poo and I’ll end up finding her squatting in a corner somewhere, knowing she is doing her business (this is when I CAN catch her). Yes, it’s a gross situation to go through and have to clean up for both daddy and mommy. Any other advice is greatly appreciated! I don’t dare take away her “soosie” right now or make her sit on the potty (although, she has peed on the potty already). Help!
Hi Tammy!
Does she have the opportunity to “make a mess” anywhere else? Give her the opportunity to play in the mud, use play-dough, do finger painting — let her try to get her “messies” out of her system in more acceptable ways. Talk to her about how it’s OK to make a mess — outside, at the painting easel — wherever you give her permission.
It’s also important not to scold, but to be straightforward about what you’re hoping she’ll do. “The poop belongs in the potty or in your diaper. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Also, you can try to analyze when she does it — and what was going on BEFORE the messing. Were you busy with the baby? Was she tired before her nap? Was she eager to get out and run outside, but you couldn’t take her? Sometimes, there IS some rhyme and reason — some pattern — to the behavior. Figuring out what that pattern is can help you to change it. Really try to collect info from everyone who takes care of her, keep a journal, with days, times of day, everything you can — to try to find the pattern.
Make sure you read the several posts on poop-smearing here, as well as the other comments — you’re not alone! And you might find some additional tips. And of course, make sure her doctor says there’s nothing medically wrong. Good luck and keep us posted!
Thanks Dr. Heather for the advice!
I especially like the idea of keeping a journal of her incidents or accidents. A great idea! I have told her where the poop belongs without getting upset…although, I have to admit, at times, it was hard to hide my distaste in the situation. I realize that she may be going through something emotionally right now and you are right, giving her other opportunities to be messy might help out! I will definitely keep you posted.
Thanks again!
Your website is wonderful and very helpful!
sincerely,
Tammy
Dear Babyshrink,
I am at a loss. My 22 month old has started poop smearing. Onesies worked for a while, but then he discovered he can go in by the leg openings, so I bought 1 piece footie jammies, and he undresses himself to get to the contents pf his diaper. This is becoming a routine thing, as he has done it twice this week.
Help!
Kathryn
I forgot to mention it always happens in conjunction with waking up, either in the morning or after a nap, and he usually doesn’t cry first to let us know that he is awake, he is just suspiciously quiet.
Kathryn,
PREVENTION is the key here. Get to him before he has any chance to poop unattended. Don’t scold, don’t freak out — just PREVENT the smearing. Hang around his doorway, whatever you have to do to make sure you catch him before he poops. Let him poop as he likes — as long as you’re around — then clean him up. Then, show support and interest when he shows a desire to learn how to use the potty. Push the positive growth, and try to ignore (and prevent) the negative — that’s the way out of this one. Good luck and let us know!!
Great advice Dr. Heather! It’s definitely a stage, but it feels like an ETERNITY!! Both my kids went through their own version of this. I’m thankful for the experience though because it’s been helpful to reassure other parents as a pediatrician that, yes, my kids did this too! I don’t think I have mastered how to keep my cool when it happens though. It’s just so gross and frustrating.
My 24 month old had his first poop smearing episode tonight and my husband and I are at a loss for words on his new activity. He is the youngest boy of our three boys and is currently the only child living with us full time. So he gets all of our attention. We are completely at the end of our rope with him. We just don’t know what to do with him or how to positively and productively react and deal with his array of bad behaviors. He pediatrician ensures us he is just “being two” and we get that but it’s getting to the point where I’m not sleep because he’s ALWAYS working on his next move. He wakes up in the middle of the night or early morning and destroys things or makes massive messes. He waites for me to leave him unattended for as little as a few minutes (restroom break, dish washing, shower etc) and then colors on walls, brakes things, spills things in large amounts of destruction. He’s thrown glass vases at my walls, speared red lip stick on my carpets, smeared poop on his bedroom wall, colored all my kitchen cabinets and living room walls with black permanent marker then fed the marker to the dog. He’s covered our living room furniture in baby powder in the middle of the night and these are just a small percentage of the things he does on a daily basis. I literally can’t take my eyes off him or turn my back on him for a few moments because he’s destroying something. I’m a stay at home mom and can’t get anything done household wise or even as little as going to the potty without having to drag him along in fear of what he might do next but without fail he seizes the smallest opportunity or wakes in the night to terrorize. HELP! The stress of his behavior is literally making me ill
Veronica,
It sounds like much more than poop smearing is going on here — you need to consult with an early childhood therapist who can meet with you all in person. If you live in the USA, you can access — for free — Early Intervention evaluation services until your child is 3, if he qualifies. Ask your pediatrician for the local “Part C” provider. Let us know what happens!
Thank you so much for this helpful and reassuring advice. I work and my husband twice had to deal with poo smearing yesterday which has started out of nowhere. Our daughter is just over two and not quite ready for toilet training, and my husband thought at first that there was something wrong with her, she keeps putting her hand into her nappy and is very curious about it all, so toilet training may be on the way, but this poo smearing has come out of nowhere and she doesn’t seem concerned in the least. However this post has eased my mind and given us some good tips to try and avoid any more incidents. Our main problem is that my husband is partially disabled and not physically up to tidying up such a mess, so I have to come home from work! However I will be looking out our sons old onesies, and maybe put them on backwards as our daughter is much more inquisitive and will probably work out how to get into them if she desires!
Thank you again for this VERY helpful article!
Thank goodness…I actually dreaded googling this, because I was so afraid it was an indication of some sort of serious issue. I’m so relieved. I am the mother of 6, 3 are grown, the others are 3 and under and two afternoons ago, my 3 y/o did this. She has been removing her diaper because she doesn’t like the feel, however, won’t do anything in the potty. She took her diaper off during “naptime,” had pooped, smeared poop EVERYWHERE. All over herself, her mattress and OMG, we have a mesh crib tent and yes ALL OVER THAT, TOO!!!! My husband was here I was not. He bathed her and I told him not to touch the room, not realizing how bad it was and I literally stood in the room, spong and bucket in hand, sobbing. This is the first time EVER out of 6 children, that I have ever experienced this. She simply kept saying “ew gross” over the monitor and my husband went down to find….POOP! I am so glad to read your article and know that as of right now, its not abnormal. HUGE RELIEF!
My 15 month old daughter has done this twice this week…. So I appreciate all of the suggestions. I’m dreading this if it ends up being a long stage!
Is 15 months too early to start potty training?
SO glad I found this website, my LO just turned 2 last week but has been a poop smearer for over 2 months now; all together I’d say he’s done the deed about a dozen times. At first, I stayed extremely calm and explained that poop was dirty, yucky and should not be anywhere but his diaper. I even tried to introduce him to some more tactile activities and projects in order to “satisfy” his need to squish, but strangely, he says “yuck” when he touches those. I finally started potty training this week, after about the 10th smearing incident. Like many other people have noted, he pees great, and has pooped once so far in the potty, but for the most part, he waits until he has his nap or night diaper on to do the deed, then smear. Today, I completely lost it; I yelled and gave him a cold shower, then put him in time out. I am at my wits end! I am definitely going to try the onesie or reverse sleeper along with the cold shower. More importantly I’m going to be on him like a hawk so he won’t have time to go Picasso on the walls! Thank you for thr information, I just need to keep my cool and try some new tricks. I’m hoping and praying that this phase will pass very soon!
My daughter is 4 years 3 months & she has been doing this for a while now I am at the end of my tether with her but just don’t know what to do so I am going to try the sleepsuit on backwards trick as she just laughs now. She was very delayed in potty traing & speech so she might be going through that stage late but I am going to take her to the doctor if it doesn’t stop soon. Thanks for the advice x
Glad I found this… my 2 1/2 yr old has been doing it for about a month now. It’s good to hear its normal. Im going to try the PJ thing for sure… He is getting potty trained and does really well except he wont go poop in the toilet, instead he wipes it all over and even smashes it all over his toys. It’s been so frustrating!
Thank you so much for this site and all the moms who contribute to this conversation. My 27 months old boy just started the poop smearing about 2 weeks ago. My husband and I were getting worried. We are relieved to know we are not alone. We do our best to never leave him along. Thank you again for all the suggestions.
I am relieved that I am not the only parent experiencing this. Phew! This threw my husband and I for a loop as our now 5 year old son NEVER did this..however our 2 year old daughter started doing this a few monthes ago and man were we suprised. The things that go through your head as your cleaning up the mess are: 1. I am a horrible parent ( good old parental guilt!) 2. Is my child OK, are they progressing fine? I should make a Dr’s Appt. to make sure it’s nothing psychological, is this normal behaviour?..3. How the heck do I stop this?
thanks
My daughter is S.M.A.R.T.! She has always been able to figure things out quciker than her brother, laid back, she is able to read people very well..and down righ hilarious! She is a little slower with her speach than her brother, but she understands us very, very well. So when I saw the poop mess for the first time..I panicked, my mom guilt kicked in and I started thinking that something might be wrong. But she is other wise totally normal, healthy, happy and very intelligent! So i guess what I am trying to say is I am happy that this is “normal”, and that children around this age are curious and like explore. Now, I’m off to cut foot holes in her pjs so that she can wear them backwards!
Tiffany,
So glad to help! Thanks for the feedback, and please keep us posted on your smart little girl’s progress!
My two year old just started poop smearing. He does it when I try to put him down for a nap (he has been often refusing to nap– so I leave him in his crib with books and hope he will fall asleep– instead, he climbs out of his crib, pulls off his diaper and smears poop everywhere on carpet, toys, pulls clothes out of dresser…). He now won’t even pee on the potty. Totally fed up and have no idea what to do. We moved a month ago (in with my fiancé) and I don’t know if that has to do with it.
Hi Susan,
This might be a confluence of your move (a stressor that can cause regression) plus his changed need for sleep. If he’s resisting his naps, he’s getting bored in there, looking for stuff to do. Yeccchhhhh…..I know it’s tough, but try these things: Look at his sleep schedule, and see if he’s getting too much. Experiment with shorter nap times or non-nap days — especially when he doesn’t go right down. You can always put him down for an earlier bedtime that night. Also, try not to put him down until he’s had his poop. Take the pressure off the potty training — let him know it’s up to HIM where he poops — diaper or potty — but you can’t let him do it in his crib and room. Keep an eye on him as he goes down for his nap — keep the door open and check on him every couple of minutes, and if he starts pooping, tell him “Go ahead and do your poop, I will change your diaper when you’re done, then we can try again for your nap.” You can also offer him lots of yucky messy play during the day — mud pies, play dough, finger paints — and tell him that THIS is how you WANT him to make a mess. Not with his poop, but with THIS stuff. Make it fun and join in. Good luck and let me know what happens!
Thanks! Tried just not napping today — he seems to have gone down to bed better tonight. He seems really off the potty but he has been (today and yesterday) taking off his dirty diaper but putting it in the diaper gene, and getting out a clean one and trying to put it on. I of course finish the job and wipe him, but is this maybe an appropriate intermediary step before potty?
I am a teacher of austic twin girls who will be 7 tomorrow. They are just now being potty trained. We have had great success at school; one girl is doing well at home and the other is getting there. However, this is just for pottying. They have yet to poop in the stool, and they smear feces all over. They had done that for a long time; the parents tried a lot of your suggestions so they could not get at the poop. Now that they are in panties all the time, it is a major issue. This mom needs HELP. Ideas?
Hi again Susan,
Sure! He is taking a nice step in potty independence. Go with it! Let me know how it goes.
Jean,
Developmental delays such as autism certainly complicate the situation — and twins, at that! At this age, the parents need to consult with a developmental pediatrician who has a good track record with toileting issues with PDD/spectrum kiddos. Involve the doctor in the IEP process (if you’re in the USA) and don’t let them get disheartened. They just need to keep asking for help until they find the right doctor. Good luck and thanks for your important work!