It sounds like much more than poop smearing is going on here — you need to consult with an early childhood therapist who can meet with you all in person. If you live in the USA, you can access — for free — Early Intervention evaluation services until your child is 3, if he qualifies. Ask your pediatrician for the local “Part C” provider. Let us know what happens!

PREVENTION is the key here. Get to him before he has any chance to poop unattended. Don’t scold, don’t freak out — just PREVENT the smearing. Hang around his doorway, whatever you have to do to make sure you catch him before he poops. Let him poop as he likes — as long as you’re around — then clean him up. Then, show support and interest when he shows a desire to learn how to use the potty. Push the positive growth, and try to ignore (and prevent) the negative — that’s the way out of this one. Good luck and let us know!!

Help!

Kathryn

Does she have the opportunity to “make a mess” anywhere else? Give her the opportunity to play in the mud, use play-dough, do finger painting — let her try to get her “messies” out of her system in more acceptable ways. Talk to her about how it’s OK to make a mess — outside, at the painting easel — wherever you give her permission.

It’s also important not to scold, but to be straightforward about what you’re hoping she’ll do. “The poop belongs in the potty or in your diaper. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Also, you can try to analyze when she does it — and what was going on BEFORE the messing. Were you busy with the baby? Was she tired before her nap? Was she eager to get out and run outside, but you couldn’t take her? Sometimes, there IS some rhyme and reason — some pattern — to the behavior. Figuring out what that pattern is can help you to change it. Really try to collect info from everyone who takes care of her, keep a journal, with days, times of day, everything you can — to try to find the pattern.

Make sure you read the several posts on poop-smearing here, as well as the other comments — you’re not alone! And you might find some additional tips. And of course, make sure her doctor says there’s nothing medically wrong. Good luck and keep us posted!

Wow, you do have your hands full!! Don’t forget that your explanations of “gross” don’t matter to him — for some reason, he likes having the poop around, or he just doesn’t want to leave it in the potty. Little kids have all sorts of kooky ideas about the value of poop. (Freud wasn’t totally wrong!!)

I’m guessing that he is having MORE poops because when he DOES poop, he is withholding some, knowing it will cause a conflict. I suggest any way to remove the stress from the situation — after all, he’s got a new baby in the house to adjust to, and that’s a big deal. I would suggest telling him that you are listening to him, and he does NOT have to use the potty. He can poop whenever he wants in his diaper — and you will NOT be mad (and you must not be). Then, try to anticipate when he will poop, because it sounds like he does have a pattern, and simply clean him up as quickly as possible so he doesn’t have a chance to make a mess. He may not like the cleanup process, but give him the opportunity to play with something he usually doesn’t get to hold, and talk to him about how it is HIS choice about the potty. Take the stress out — for BOTH of you!

When he matures a bit more, you can follow his interest in potty training — it WILL kick in again, and if not, ask his doctor. But many kids — boys especially — are not fully potty trained until 3 1/2, or even beyond!