MORE on Poop-Smearing: A Complicated Case
December 1, 2008 by Dr. Heather
Filed under Annoying Toddler Behaviors, BEST OF BABYSHRINK, Potty Training
“What,” you may ask, “is the most popular ‘lurkers’ topic at BabyShrink?” Is there a common theme that brings the most readers to this site?
Yes, there is.
Every day, I check my WordPress “Stats” to see what parents have been reading on BabyShrink. I think it’s hilarious that each and every day I get several Google “hits” from people entering in phrases like this to the search box:
My toddler smears poop everywhere, what do I do?
They end up on this page, which is my all-time most-read post. And if you’ve read the post, you know that I laugh from all-too-knowing experience.
But every so often, I get a question from a reader who needs more help with this problem; it’s progressed past the point of my suggestions. So yes, dear readers, it’s time for yet another poop-smearing post:
Dear Dr. Heather,
My three-year-old daughter has been smearing poop, and it has increased in frequency. Not only does she smear her poop everywhere, but she also has a corner in my living room where she, for the lack of a better term, “marks her territory.” She knows when to pee on the potty and does it fine. But more lately, she will strip off her pull-up and go to that corner to either pee or smear her poop. I don’t know what to do since EVERYTHING I have tried seems not to work. I have had extreme difficulty with her potty training, which her doctor said is normal due to the fact that she is extremely hyperactive and just doesn’t want to stop. He says she is afraid to miss something. I realized that almost a year ago her father stopped coming around, and it has been almost a year since she began this frustrating habit. But it’s gotten worse lately and I don’t know if it’s an outcry towards me because she is possibly mad at me for her father not being around?? Also I am a single mother and although I was able to quit my job and be with her recently i am still not able to give her my 110% attention all the time. I don’t know…all I know is I need help. I can’t handle this…nor can I STOMACH this anymore!! Thank you for your time.
“Tired of Cleaning Up After the Little Stinker”
Dear Tired,
Sounds like you have a complex problem here. If her pediatrician says there is nothing medically or developmentally wrong, you can try using some of these techniques:
First, try some concrete behavioral strategies. Does she have a usual time of day when she poops? Most toddlers do it about the same time each day, and only do it once. If she does, watch her closely until she’s made her poop. Don’t let her wander away from you unobserved until she has pooped. Then you can give her a little more free-reign after you know she’s done for the day. Also, you can dress her in a more restrictive way until she has done her poop. Get a larger size onesie, with perhaps some leggings over it, to put her in until she’s pooped. If she lets you know in advance that she needs to go, fine. You can help her get undressed and to the toilet. If not, it’s OK for now if she goes in her pull-up.
You might also move around things in “her corner”, making it a difficult or unappealing place to spend her time. Experiment with furniture in the room to see if you can re-configure it to “eliminate” that place where she usually goes. Change around the whole room so her association to it is also changed. Make “her corner” a more focal place of the room, so that it’s not a hideaway, and she can’t have any privacy there.
Don’t make a big deal about using the potty right now. She’s giving you mixed messages about being ready, and in that case, the advice is usually to back off from potty training. Let her be in charge of when she uses the potty. But do be clear with her that smearing poop or going on the floor is NOT an option. It’s yucky. Mommy does not like to clean that up. But when she DOES successfully use the potty, make a big deal out of it. Hurray! What a big girl! It’s so nice and clean when you go in the potty! Consider giving her a small treat (one jelly bean, for example) every time she does go to the potty, even if it’s just to pee. And try not to be scolding if she goes in her pull-up. Just be matter-of-fact about it, and clean it up.
I also would not use punishment if she smears poop again. You might remove her from the “scene of the crime”, since you have to sanitize it. Be serious, but neutral. Remind her where she should go, and that poop does not belong on the walls or the floor.
Also, it’s important to give her plenty of opportunity to play with acceptable, squishy, messy things like finger paints, play-doh, even mud pies. She clearly likes the feeling of it; give her ample opportunity to make a mess in an acceptable way. Tell her when you’re playing with messy things, “This is fun to be messy. We can be messy with paints!”
You ask about the impact of her Daddy leaving, and whether that is related. I can’t judge that from here. But you can ask yourself about the impact it has had on YOU. If you have been upset, if things have been very different around the house, you can bet your daughter has picked up on that. But is it related to the poop-smearing? Difficult to say. If you need more input about that, I would suggest talking with a licensed therapist who has a specialty in working with young children. And if you’re having trouble coping, please seek out some help. A little bit of good therapy can go a long way — and help you to trouble-shoot when difficult times arise!
Try some of these strategies, and let us know how it goes!
Aloha,
Dr. Heather
The BabyShrink
Detracting from the serious of this a bit, but I totally have a poop smearing story that I’ve been meaning to write and you’ve just reminded me :}
Oh, I am SO glad this is one problem I never had with my kids… I can’t imagine how frustrating a recurring problem like this would be. To those parents out there dealing with this behavior, you have my sympathies.
My son is 2 1/2 and for about a month now he has been pooping in his room. he will go on the potty sometimes. i have tried working on potty training with him. but every morning i go in his room to get him there is poop he takes all of his clothes and his pull up off to do it. i have tried putting a potty in his room, but he just took that apart and played with it. i have tried giving him cold showers. i have tried making him clean it. i have tried putting tighter clothes on so there not so easy to get off, but nothing seems to be working. he knows what he is doing is wrong, but continues to do it anyway. I don’t no what to do anymore. my husband is in the army and is currently deployed he will be coming home soon so i am dealing with this all alone for now and i really need some advice please help
I sympathize with your situation and know you have to handle this alone — perhaps taking the pressure off will help. How about going to his room in the morning before he gets up? Try to stay positive and encouraging with him — don’t let him feel scolded. It will only make things worse. Go to him before he poops, and give him the choice of pooping in his diaper or the potty. Go with whatever he picks — then tell him how nice it is to put poop where it belongs. Don’t worry about getting him fully potty trained at this age — many children — boys in particular — aren’t fully trained until 3 or later. Let us know what happens!
Dr. Heather,
Thank you sooo much for letting me feel relieved that my 2 1/2 year old is experiencing a normal albeit disgusting phase. I was very worried. I’m pretty darn unhappy when I have to pick it up, but after reading your posts, I now know that my response was not optimal. I have learned a lot of great ideas today and will begin implementing them right away.
Thanks ALOT!
Jeff in AZ
So glad to help. Keep us posted, Jeff!
I heard that muck smearing is associated with autism…is this true
Rachel,
Poop-smearing is one behavior that kids with autism SOMETIMES engage in. But it’s not “diagnostic” for autism. There are many other more serious symptoms that we look for in diagnosing autism or other pervasive developmental delays. I’m glad you brought it up, because some parents worry about this. But if your child is developing in a typical fashion on other ways, poop-smearing in and of itself does not raise a flag of concern for autism.
Dr. Heather,
I have a step-son that is 5 years old and will be 6 in 3 months. He keeps going to the bathroom (#2) in the toilet an all, but then he wipes his but on the floor an smears it on the bathtub and on our bathroom rug. I don’t know what to do, he has toilet paper but won’t use it he will only use baby wipes. I know its more normal fr a 2 year old to do these kinds of things but he is just too old for this behavior! What should I do?? Please Help!!!
-Jessica
Jessica, can you accompany him to the bathroom for the time being to help him do the wiping? Also, the flushable wipes are often much preferred by preschoolers — not at all unusual. Many children (especially boys) need help in the wiping department even on through 6 and 7. That, plus an encouraging (and not shaming) attitude is important. Let us know how it goes!
i have read about baby/toddlers smearing poop ,but i have a sticky situation and was wondering if there was any advice..
my son has been picking and smearing his poop for along time now and at 10 yrs of age i think as a parent this is not good ,,he gives no reasons to why he dose this ,i tried talking to doctors and other people in that line but have had no joy…is there anyone ealse out there or am i on my own for this one
Hi Dr. Heather,
We just went through this with our 3.5 year old. He had a bad case of pinworm about 2 months ago that resulted in a bad rash that made it uncomfortable and even painful for him to poop. He had a few accidents here and there but nothing too bad. I alerted his preschool teacher what we were seeing at home and she said he was doing fine at school. Then the accidents got worse, he was refusing to go on the potty (had been potty trained for several months) and then started holding. Then if we could coax him on to the potty when we saw him get in the position, it would be such a large stool it would be painful for him to pass and he would be terrified. Later he told me it hurt to poop on the potty, only felt okay crouching over in his pants. So we loaded him up with fiber and tried a reward system (worked with potty training the first time) but he did not go for it. At one point he had pooped on the room of his floor and I stepped in it and lost my cool parenting skills and told him how gross it was, yucky, that I was not happy. Okay, I know this was a big mistake, did I mention I am 8 months pregnant so of course I know this was really counterproductive. Still no complaints from school so I thought maybe he was just holding it all day. Then a few weeks ago he pooped his pants during naptime and apparently wiped some poop on the wall of his preschool The teacher was pretty upset and requested we keep him at home until we “get a handle on it”. So we take him to his pediatrician who suggested miralax, letting him poop in his pants to get him regular/comfortable again and gradually reintroduce potty to him and institute reward system. So, we did this and was going well, he goes back to school for a week and then it happens again. Teacher is at wits ends and long story short…we basically got kicked out of preschool for this. So, he did this at home once a long time ago but never since. A couple friends of mine suggested it was maybe more of a preschool problem than a potty problem b/c we have had issues there with the teacher since we started 7 months ago. Of course I have also wandered if it’s a response to the impending birth..although he seems very excited and loving towards the baby and it’s not even here yet. You had mentioned that you would be concerned if this were happening in a 3.5-4 year old. Do you have any thoughts on what might have been going on there? Also, we live on the Big Island — Aloha!!
Aloha Colleen!
From what you say, I’m also wondering if this might be a school problem, as opposed to a kid “problem”. Of course I can’t evaluate it directly, but making sure the preschool has a good way of dealing with these common preschooler issues is important. You’ll really want to be sure he’s in the right preschool after the baby is born, so you’re not worrying about him. And yes, too, that he is going through some adjustment already to you being pregnant and not 100%, as well as the impending birth. So the usual advice is to back up in terms of expectations, go easy on everyone, and use lots of praise when things start to go in the right direction. Of course making sure pooping isn’t painful is KEY — and it can take a long time for the residual fear of the pain to subside. Good luck and let us know!!
I have a 17 month old daughter and she is taking off her diaper and smearing it all over the toys and carpet. Could this also be her acting out because of my nasty divorce? Or perhaps the fact that she leaves me to stay with him on weekends?
Sorry she’s two and a half lol my fault with three kids I loose track lol