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Tips for a Mom Desperate to Potty Train her Toddler
One of my most frequently-asked questions is along the lines of one I recently received:
Dear Dr. Heather,
My daughter will be 3 in Sept. She absolutely refuses to use the potty. When I take her in the morning it seems she will hold it – even though her diaper is dry- until I give up. That can be up to 20 minutes. I’ve tried everything. Books, videos, Pull-Ups. She doesn’t even care if she wets herself. I am so very weary of putting big girl panties on her for fear that she will wet herself again!
Signed,
A Desperate Mom
I can certainly relate. I’ve experienced all sorts of variations on the potty training theme here in the BabyShrink household with our 3 young children. But this is one of the big issues that CAN’T BE RUSHED.
Here’s my response to “Desperate”, along with a link to one of my more popular posts on the subject.
Dear Desperate Mom,
She is giving you a very clear message — that she’s not ready yet! Save yourself (and her) the aggravation and bust out the diapers for another few weeks before you try again; and next time, follow her lead. This is not something you can force. Hang in there!
And here’s a link to my most popular potty training post, for more details.
Aloha,
Dr. Heather
The BabyShrink
‘almost 3′? Surely you jest! My son is 4 1/2 and refuses to use the potty at all! I figure I’ll have to hire someone to change his diapers when he goes to college. I’ve tried EVERYTHING – if there was some kind of suggestion, I’ve tried it. Nothing works. I don’t know if he’ll be allowed to go to summer camp next week because he’s not potty trained. I’ve just given up and stopped contributing to his college fund to pay for the diapers.
My daughter was trained at 2 1/2 and never had an accident. My son wasn’t ready until after his 3rd birthday and he still has accidents sometimes because he waits until the last possible second to get to the bathroom (he’s seven now). My kids were totally different even though I used the exact same methods. This is definitely something that is up to the child!
I tried training my daughter in Jan., before her 3rd birthday. She was extremely resistant to it. She started holding it in and the pediatrician told me to stop and wait longer. She is now 3 1/2 and is still not interested. The first day, she seemed she was going to train easily, sitting on the potty and peeing (her first time) – I made such a big deal of it, the whole family did (there is 6 of us here). The next day she was a totally different girl. Screaming, not sitting on the potty and then peeing on herself all day long. Yesterday did not go well either. Today, we were in the park and I came home when I saw her grab herself. I told her we’d come back after she pottied. She screamed, she won’t sit (although she clearly has to go) and cried for 1/2 an hour. My husband trained my step-daughter by taking her pants and underwear off. He said it worked great. She is now 25 years old. I think she just fell asleep without going, and is still not wearing pants or underwear. I don’t think I should turn back, because she is on the older side, and I think she will be harder to train the older she gets. HELP!