Comments on: Tips for When a Toddler Withholds His Poop http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html Child and parent development by licensed psychologist, Dr. Heather. Fri, 30 Jul 2010 06:45:47 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Dr. Heather http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3652 Dr. Heather Sun, 07 Feb 2010 20:33:11 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3652 Hi Laurel ~ It's hard not to "push" a 3-year-old to go in the potty, I know. But he seems to be withholding for a reason, and if you get mixed up in his motivations, you're bound to lose. All you can do is explain what you expect (which you have), and then "back off". Of course, big praise and rewards when he makes progress, but try to be as neutral as possible about it otherwise. Because you can never "make" him push, just like you can never" make" him eat or sleep. You can only support his development in the right direction. And remember -- the kids who develop major potty problems often either have true medical issues (which I don't hear you say he has), or have parents who have stumbled into a "pushy" or controlling role. So try giving the control back to him for a few weeks and see what happens. Comment or email me again if you need more help! Hi Laurel ~

It’s hard not to “push” a 3-year-old to go in the potty, I know. But he seems to be withholding for a reason, and if you get mixed up in his motivations, you’re bound to lose. All you can do is explain what you expect (which you have), and then “back off”. Of course, big praise and rewards when he makes progress, but try to be as neutral as possible about it otherwise. Because you can never “make” him push, just like you can never” make” him eat or sleep. You can only support his development in the right direction.

And remember — the kids who develop major potty problems often either have true medical issues (which I don’t hear you say he has), or have parents who have stumbled into a “pushy” or controlling role. So try giving the control back to him for a few weeks and see what happens. Comment or email me again if you need more help!

]]> By: Laurel http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3651 Laurel Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:04:29 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3651 Hello Dr. Heather! What a relief to find this site. I am kind of in the same boat as the original question however my son Ryan is 3 and half years old. He mastered going pee pee in the potty at 2 but has always gone poop once a day in his diaper before bed time. We let it go on for a long time because it wasn't a problem for us. It was always expected he would go poop before bed each night after we put him down. Lately we have decided to push him to go poop in the potty now. He wants to but I feel like he doesn't know how push. After watching him go poopy in his diaper I noticed that he runs around in his room in circles and wants to keep it in but in the end lets it come out without really pushing it out. What can I do to help him learn how to "push"? I ask him to make a little toot but he doesn't really get it. Every time he poops its because it literally busting out and he gives in and lets it come out. I am going to definitely try the 'let it be' technique you described above because I know he really wants to go on the toilet but he just doesn't know the pushing part. Any suggestions? I'm thinking Miralax will help him have that sensation more times a day and that it would him with the opportunity to poop? I don't know but its getting awfully old having him sit on the toilet when I know he needs to go and telling him to push over and over again. I think I am stressing him out and I am definitely stressed too. Thanks for your time in answering all these questions! Hello Dr. Heather! What a relief to find this site. I am kind of in the same boat as the original question however my son Ryan is 3 and half years old. He mastered going pee pee in the potty at 2 but has always gone poop once a day in his diaper before bed time. We let it go on for a long time because it wasn’t a problem for us. It was always expected he would go poop before bed each night after we put him down. Lately we have decided to push him to go poop in the potty now. He wants to but I feel like he doesn’t know how push. After watching him go poopy in his diaper I noticed that he runs around in his room in circles and wants to keep it in but in the end lets it come out without really pushing it out. What can I do to help him learn how to “push”? I ask him to make a little toot but he doesn’t really get it. Every time he poops its because it literally busting out and he gives in and lets it come out. I am going to definitely try the ‘let it be’ technique you described above because I know he really wants to go on the toilet but he just doesn’t know the pushing part. Any suggestions? I’m thinking Miralax will help him have that sensation more times a day and that it would him with the opportunity to poop? I don’t know but its getting awfully old having him sit on the toilet when I know he needs to go and telling him to push over and over again. I think I am stressing him out and I am definitely stressed too. Thanks for your time in answering all these questions!

]]> By: Dr. Heather http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3635 Dr. Heather Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:05:19 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3635 Ask your doc whether Miralax might help -- sometimes some fine-tuning of the dose is needed -- maybe a little less would work?? Ask your doc whether Miralax might help — sometimes some fine-tuning of the dose is needed — maybe a little less would work??

]]> By: tara http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3634 tara Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:09:33 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3634 she was on lax-a-day which worked but gave her alot of cramps so i was in a no win situation!! she was on lax-a-day which worked but gave her alot of cramps so i was in a no win situation!!

]]> By: tara http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3633 tara Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:08:39 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3633 no what is that? no what is that?

]]> By: Dr. Heather http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3632 Dr. Heather Sun, 24 Jan 2010 22:54:07 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3632 Tara ~ Sounds like a medical problem. Has your doctor suggested Miralax yet? Tara ~
Sounds like a medical problem. Has your doctor suggested Miralax yet?

]]> By: tara http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3631 tara Fri, 22 Jan 2010 22:56:42 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3631 ok well thanks for everything anyway i hope you can recommend something !! it all started when she was an infant she was constipated since about 3 months old they changed her milk several time from good start to similac lactose free / isomil // perscription milk from public health ... then it went on to giving supositories to stool softners to laxative ......then i tried fruit at 4 months still did not work then when she turned 1year when i was to put her on whole milk i did not i put her on 2% then the doctor suggested i try soya milk // then rice milk///nothing worked !! and since she was 6mnth i gave her a bottle of prunes everyday helped a bit // i then got her on a high fiber diet still nothing i am lost her symptoms are pain in belly all all all the time and hard hard small balls all the time and when i say all the time i meean all the time this child never never has a regular bowl movement.... she eats everything EXCELLENT eater and i know not many parents can say that ....she even tells me it hurts and it is to hard to poop she farts alot and her poor eyes water when she tries to poop can you HELP me i am going to see her pediatrician again next week they also did an ultrasound but said it did not show anything can a child have a scopre done would that determine if there is a problem ..... i think her food is not digesting right because with what she eats she should not have this problem... PLEASE PLEASE HELP ok well thanks for everything anyway i hope you can recommend something !! it all started when she was an infant she was constipated since about 3 months old they changed her milk several time from good start to similac lactose free / isomil // perscription milk from public health … then it went on to giving supositories to stool softners to laxative ……then i tried fruit at 4 months still did not work then when she turned 1year when i was to put her on whole milk i did not i put her on 2% then the doctor suggested i try soya milk // then rice milk///nothing worked !! and since she was 6mnth i gave her a bottle of prunes everyday helped a bit // i then got her on a high fiber diet still nothing i am lost her symptoms are pain in belly all all all the time and hard hard small balls all the time and when i say all the time i meean all the time this child never never has a regular bowl movement…. she eats everything EXCELLENT eater and i know not many parents can say that ….she even tells me it hurts and it is to hard to poop she farts alot and her poor eyes water when she tries to poop can you HELP me i am going to see her pediatrician again next week they also did an ultrasound but said it did not show anything can a child have a scopre done would that determine if there is a problem ….. i think her food is not digesting right because with what she eats she should not have this problem… PLEASE PLEASE HELP

]]> By: tara http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3630 tara Fri, 22 Jan 2010 18:58:53 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3630 Hi there thanks Heather, well it all started when she was an infant she was always constipated the Dr. changed her formula several times she was on good start / Similiac lactose free // then on isomil and then last but not least they gave her the perscription milk from public health... this did not do anything at 4 months old i had to give her a suppository and nothing ever got better.. And i am gonna say something this child eats everthing and i literally mean everything . So then i had her on a stool softner // laxative drops which of course laxative drops help but does anyone really want to give their child this everyday or even a couple times a week. No so i refused to keep her on this stuff because all it was doing was making her bowls lazy .... so then i started her on baby fruits at 5 months of age and she loved them but it still did not work ... then i started giveing her a bottle of baby prunes every day that seemd to help a little ......so then when i started her on regular milk i started with 2% still the same i went to another doctor and he thought i should try something else... so itried soya milk // and rice milk nothing seems to work .....when she uses the bathroom they are small small round balls and are hard she says it is hard to poop and also complains all the time about a sore belly ....i just fell lost i keep telling them that this is not normal they say alot of toddlers are constipated ...but are they constipated every every every day of their life like my little girl i doubt it ... so they did an ultra sound but said they did not see anything...Can they do a scope. I know as a mother that this is Not normal and that there is something wrong and if in fact they find out when she is a teenager oh man will i be mad! this to me is not right i have another apptointment for her next week with the pedatrician again... Can you recomend anything!!! and i also give her lots of fiber // i took her off dairy products for 3 weeks nothing changed i will list the food my child loves to eat... strawberries blueberries salmon cod carrots apples bananas ceral of everykind yogourt rasians mushrooms brocolli pees oatmeal can pork and molasses beeans as you can probably tell my daughter loves everything i never have to cook a separate meal for her she eats everything served at the table PLEASE PLEASE give me some solutions or tell me what i can ask my pediatrician to do next week THANKS in advance... Hi there thanks Heather, well it all started when she was an infant she was always constipated the Dr. changed her formula several times she was on good start / Similiac lactose free // then on isomil and then last but not least they gave her the perscription milk from public health… this did not do anything at 4 months old i had to give her a suppository and nothing ever got better.. And i am gonna say something this child eats everthing and i literally mean everything . So then i had her on a stool softner // laxative drops which of course laxative drops help but does anyone really want to give their child this everyday or even a couple times a week. No so i refused to keep her on this stuff because all it was doing was making her bowls lazy …. so then i started her on baby fruits at 5 months of age and she loved them but it still did not work … then i started giveing her a bottle of baby prunes every day that seemd to help a little ……so then when i started her on regular milk i started with 2% still the same i went to another doctor and he thought i should try something else… so itried soya milk // and rice milk nothing seems to work …..when she uses the bathroom they are small small round balls and are hard she says it is hard to poop and also complains all the time about a sore belly ….i just fell lost i keep telling them that this is not normal they say alot of toddlers are constipated …but are they constipated every every every day of their life like my little girl i doubt it … so they did an ultra sound but said they did not see anything…Can they do a scope. I know as a mother that this is Not normal and that there is something wrong and if in fact they find out when she is a teenager oh man will i be mad! this to me is not right i have another apptointment for her next week with the pedatrician again… Can you recomend anything!!! and i also give her lots of fiber // i took her off dairy products for 3 weeks nothing changed i will list the food my child loves to eat…

strawberries
blueberries
salmon
cod
carrots
apples
bananas
ceral of everykind
yogourt
rasians
mushrooms
brocolli
pees
oatmeal
can pork and molasses beeans

as you can probably tell my daughter loves everything i never have to cook a separate meal for her she eats everything served at the table PLEASE PLEASE give me some solutions or tell me what i can ask my pediatrician to do next week THANKS in advance…

]]> By: Dr. Heather http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3629 Dr. Heather Fri, 22 Jan 2010 05:03:22 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3629 Tara ~ It sounds like a medical problem, and I'm a doctor, but not that kind of a doctor. If you give me some more information about your situation, I can try to make some recommendations. Either post another comment or email me by hitting the "Ask Dr. Heather" button. Aloha! Tara ~

It sounds like a medical problem, and I’m a doctor, but not that kind of a doctor. If you give me some more information about your situation, I can try to make some recommendations. Either post another comment or email me by hitting the “Ask Dr. Heather” button. Aloha!

]]> By: Tara http://babyshrink.com/2009/07/tips-for-when-a-toddler-withholds-his-poop.html/comment-page-1#comment-3628 Tara Fri, 22 Jan 2010 01:41:23 +0000 http://babyshrink.com/?p=631#comment-3628 Hi there, i am writing because my child started having pooping problems since she was born she is now 3 and i have had her to the doctor and pediatrician several times.. the problem is that she complains about her belly all and i mean all the time. When she does poop which could be 1-3 times daily it looks like rabbit poop small small hard balls about 5 0r 6 each time and she never and i stress never has normal movements can you please help me and tell me what u think...this has started at 4 months of age with a suppository given WHAT CAN I DO i am so fustrated!!!! Hi there, i am writing because my child started having pooping problems since she was born she is now 3 and i have had her to the doctor and pediatrician several times.. the problem is that she complains about her belly all and i mean all the time. When she does poop which could be 1-3 times daily it looks like rabbit poop small small hard balls about 5 0r 6 each time and she never and i stress never has normal movements can you please help me and tell me what u think…this has started at 4 months of age with a suppository given WHAT CAN I DO i am so fustrated!!!!

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