I am at my whitts end and do not know what to do anymore. My son when he was almost 2 became very sick. He started vomited and crying alot. We took him to the Dr. and after many test we found out that he was impacted. He was hospitalized for four days. They had to do two enamas and iv’s and ng tubes. This was something that has affected his potty habits every since. He just turned 4 and we are STILL having MAJOR problems. We have been to many Dr.’s and ruled out any health concerns causing these problems. He just associates having a bowel movement w something very painful. He has been on mirolax for 2 years now and gets a cap daily. We have tryed everything and let him take control and he will do good for several months and then start withholding again for no apparent reason. We try to explain to him if he does not go that he will become sick. I don’t think that he truly understands what he is doing to his body. Right now we are having problems again and have been having to do MagCitrate and mirolax for 3days to get him cleaned out. He can manage to even hold it during all this, he goes to corner and crosses his legs. Dr. told me today he has hard stool down low and to do a enama.
PLEASE PLEASE any help would be greatly appreciated! He starts school this next yr and it scares me not to be able to see if he is pottying or not and being able to take his word. It just breaks my heart and i don’t know what i can do anymore to help him move past this for good.
Sincelerely,
Ashley

My 2 1/2 yr old daughter initiated potty training a week ago by asking to wear underwear. She was very excited and proud of herself when she used the potty. The first two days she had a couple accidents but after that no accidents. She runs to the potty and says she has to pee. No reminders now. She pooped those first two days too, although she seemed unsure about it and was very happy to show it off. On the third day she didn’t go poo at all which was unusual because she has always gone once a day. Four days later she is clearly holding and saying her poop hole hurts and she doesn’t like poopy anymore. Just like that my regular once a day daughter has turned into a with holder. I put a diaper on her that 4th day and some came out against her will and she said she felt better but the next day it was the same thing-running,crying, saying it hurts when the urge hits and visibly trying to hold it. I’ve tried putting a diaper on her to take the pressure off but she takes it off and says she wants to wear underwear. She keeps screaming ‘mom help me’ when she has to go and it’s killing me! What do I do?? Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

I think Lansoyl is just jellied mineral oil, and as such not really a “drug”. The problem is avoiding having the stool get compacted, which causes pain, and then more withholding. So getting him “cleaned out” (the gentlest way possible) is important, and hopefully the Lansoyl, if used properly, should help. Make regular contact with the doctor to ensure you are using it correctly, frequently enough, etc. Don’t be tempted to use less of it than prescribed.

Then: there’s the psychological component, which is the most important (and most difficult). At age 2 it is easier, though, to allow a regression to the diaper days. Let your son know in a casual way that “you can use the diaper, we are putting the potty away.” Make sure all his caregivers and the whole family stop talking about the potty. Just take the pressure off — and hopefully, nature will take it’s course. Allow a few weeks for his body to get cleaned out and his internal signals to get re-set.

Then, when he starts to show renewed interest in the potty, don’t jump in with excitement. Follow his lead and take it slow. Good luck and let us know!!

Did you ask your ped for a referral? And have you had a heart-to-heart with your son, telling him that its HIS job to take care of his body — and you can’t force him? And that you will remind him perhaps only twice per day — maybe after breakfast and after lunch — to try to go potty? And had him transition back to PullUps fulltime, so that you don’t have to worry about the laundry?

Also, it sounds as if he has encopresis — which means only a little poop leaks out around solid, impacted poops. The first goal is really to get him cleaned out, and the enemas are maybe too invasive. MiraLax often takes 2-3 or more weeks to fully work. Other peds suggest a mineral oil based clean-out first. Ask you doc for what to use to get him cleaned out — that’s non-invasive, and then try the other suggestions, with the docs approval. Then visit my Parent Coaching page for how to sign up to talk to me directly, if you need more help. Good luck!

Sounds like you could use some help from an early childhood behavior specialist. Can you ask your pediatrician’s office for a referral? In the meantime, remember that we can’t force a child to sleep, eat, or poop. We need to work together with them to come to solutions. Enemas and suppositories feel invasive to anyone, especially young children. Additional withholding often results as an after-effect. I suggest going back to a PullUp after telling him that you want to give him some space to work this out. Think back to what was working back in September and try to re-create that. If nothing works, I’m here for Parent Coaching sessions. Good luck and let us know!

I have a son who started withholding last November (he was 2; he will be 4 this February). We took him to the pediatrician several times, and we were told the same thing: give him Miralax. We tried the Miralax, but it didn’t help get things moving. Poop would leak out, but no solid BMs while on the Miralax. So then we tried suppositories, and that did work; however, he just doesn’t like going poop. We thought we had turned a corner in September. He was pooping on his own; still some resistance, but not too bad. Then, one weekend in October, he ate a bunch of pistachios. Ever since then, he does not want to poop. We’ve given him a suppository, but last weekend my husband sat with him for 3 hours while he was on the potty, waiting for him to go. He finally did, without the help of a suppository, but he hasn’t had a BM since then.

I am at my wits end, and I don’t know what else to do. We’ve left him alone for the most part this week, and he knows that when we skidmarks in his underwear, that means he needs to go poop. He’s had 0 skidmarks this week! I am just at a loss, and I don’t what to do. Please help!