I’m so glad you asked this very common question! YES, it’s extremely predictable even that your baby will “perform” better for a sitter. The babies save their best — and their worst — for us. They seem to “hold it together” while missing us at the sitter, and then sort of fall apart for us. Refusing things like milk or cups or whatever falls into the same category. It’ll be the same when you son starts school. “He’s such a wonderful little boy, never gives us a moment of trouble!” the teacher will say. “Huh?” You won’t recognize the kid she’s describing.

But what to do about the milk dilemma? I’d love anyone else’s advice on this one — I have a 4-year-old that has refused cow’s milk since we took away his bottles at 18 months. He lets us give him yogurt, cheese, and of course chocolate milk, but no way for the “white milk”.

Milk in particular is reminiscent of the close bond with mom, and so there is often a special struggle around it. I wouldn’t make an issue with it, but try VERY SLOWLY introducing the cow’s milk — say one tenth at a time, and wait until you’re SURE he’s used to it, then another tenth. DON’T MAKE AN ISSUE OF IT — don’t mention it, (and try not to show him both milks, maybe prepare them in advance) just try to be matter-of-fact. Then let me know if it works! Seriously, I know many parents for whom this has worked, you just have to take it SLOW. But do let us know.

For the cup thing, offer him a sippy of say a watered down juice — just a small amount, ALONG WITH the bottle he’s used to, at his highchair. It’s a drag to offer both I know, but he’ll start out “playing” with the sippy and eventually get used to actually drinking out of it. And he won’t fear that you’re trying to take away his bottle You can also make a game of it by giving him juice to drink in the tub, or even in the stroller, car etc. Eventually offer the cup more and the bottle less. And don’t worry about his teeth — starting a power struggle is much more difficult to deal with.

Aloha!

I could use some advice on getting my baby to drink cow’s milk. He just turned one last week, so I started mixing breastmilk with cow’s milk in equal parts. Our sitter says he drinks it with no problems from a sippy cup, but with us, he doesn’t seem interested in it with either a sippy cup or bottle. He drinks water from the sippy cup, so I know that he is capable of using it. Same thing with naps…no problem at the sitter, but with us, he puts up a fight. Is it common for babies to behave differently with the sitter vs the parents? Do we just wait him out with the milk until he’s so thirsty that he’ll drink anything? Should I be concerned that he still drinks from a bottle? I’m clueless!