Your question about CIO is a good one — and each parent has to answer this question individually. YES, it seems that most babies can handle CIO. And yet — there are some babies whose psychological temperaments make them more sensitive and in need of reassurance. Usually, these babies are sensitive in general, not just in the area of sleep.

That said, this may not be the best time to both wean him AND get him into the crib. If you must do it, that’s fine — but if there is any way to take it step by step, I think he might respond better. Maybe think of nursing less — giving more bottles (and by other people) — and gradually easing into weaning, instead of all at once.

The other important factor here is YOU, and your relationship. You both need rest and time away from the little guy. No matter how cute he is, you need time to re-charge. Can you make a plan so that at least one of you can catch up on some sleep while the other works on sleep with the little guy? You must find a way to get some rest for yourself. You’ll be better able to think through a solution when you’re well-rested, too.

Make sure to read all the posts and comments here about sleep — there are several — and try out what feels right. If you can’t make any progress let me know — we can arrange a Parent Coaching session, if you like. Good luck!!

I came across this posting in my struggle to search for an answer. I guess I am needing what most moms need and that is the okay from another mom that crying is okay sometimes! I am a mom of 3, my other children were breastfed and slept in a bassinet beside the bed until 4 months then moved to their crib with no issues. Small cries here and there and easily passing out asleep:)

HOWEVER, our 3rd and last, is a TOTAL different situation. I feel completely out of control on how he sleeps. As soon as taking him home he refused and I mean refused the bassinet, swaddling, incline, you name it! He has been in bed with us for 8 months now! I love my little man however, his need to fall asleep on mommy’s breast has made it impossible to move him to sleep. I am in process of completely taking the breast away. He refuses a pacifier and his crib as well. I tried to let him CIO last week (he’s 8 months old) and he went on for 45 min. and I finally broke! I have white nose, he’s dressed comfortably for his crib. I just don’t know what else to do. I try during the day for naptimes and go in tell him I love him etc and it does not help. He cries in hystarics until he gets picked up and then goes to sleep on me.

I can try putting him in his crib fast asleep and within 5 minuted he is awake again.

Do you have any ideas or suggestions. I love your little boy, but I fear I am hurting him for later in life not letting him sleep anyother way but on mommy or daddy.

My son has slept through the night for about a week now! He has woken up a couple of times and cried, but the crying didn’t last long and it wasn’t a big deal – I even had to ask my husband if our son really did wake up. The first week was difficult, my son went nuts seeing one of us in his room when he wanted out. Now I just need to work on his naps!
Thank you for your help. I’m really excited to hear about your Parent Coaching. I think you’ve already been doing that for us!

JD: Wow! You did it! Of course he didn’t like it at first, but once he got the message he really settled down easily. YOU knew what was best for him — and the whole family — and you set about making that happen. Awesome job!! Keep up the good work — great example for the many families out there suffering like you were. Aloha and thanks for posting your update!

Dr. Heather

How long has he been in your bed? Breaking that habit can take quite awhile, but if you decide it’s what’s best for the whole family, stick to your decision. Plan with hubby about who will handle your son on each night — who will be “on call” for your son on a nightly (or partial nightly) basis. Try putting a cot in his room and staying with him until he settles down — don’t get him out of the crib, but offer reassurances. He may get nuts about it, especially at first — at this age it’s especially important to TALK WITH YOUR SON about your need for him to sleep in his crib — talk in confident tones, not desperate or blaming, just matter-of fact. “You’re a big enough boy to sleep in your crib all night, so even though you don’t like it, daddy and i will make sure you’re ok, but you will stay in your crib until morning. You may cry and not like it, but you’ll be OK.

Then the parent who is “off duty” gets to use ear plugs or an ipod during the crying spells, knowing that the other parent is making sure your son is OK.

This is the “kinder, gentler” method of sleep training that your son may respond to…let us know how it’s going!!

It all depends on the specific age of the baby, and your baby’s temperament, AND the needs of you and the family. Some parents are fine with comforting the baby one or more times a night. Others aren’t.

The issue with comforting is very much temperamental. Some babies freak when you go in, only to leave without picking them up. Others do very well with some reassurance. I’ve had both types in my bunch. The last one I spent 45 minutes soothing and hanging out until he fell asleep — for the whole night. I didn’t need to do more. This one will respond to nothing less than simply closing the door and going for the full CRY for about 20 minutes, some nights. Very different temperaments. Experiment with different styles and go with what seems best.

If you like, post me some more info about your little one — age and temperament, plus the family needs and wishes, and we can go from there. I’m sure other readers would like to follow along as well!

Could you explain what your Sleep Training method is? Do you go in at all to comfort? Or do you just let her cry it out? We stopped going in since it only seemed to get our baby more worked up.

Thanks,
JD