Getting your preschooler to eat fruits and veggies
Just One Molecule!
Direct from the Parent Coaching files, an issue that plagues many of us: The Preschooler Who Won’t Eat Healthy Foods. Common variants of this plague include The Preschooler Who Only Eats White Foods, The Preschooler Who Only Eats Starches, The Preschooler Who Only Eats Chicken Nuggets, and my niece’s current version: The Preschooler Who Only Eats Raisin Toast. (What can I say? Our family always has to be a little different.)
Seeing as though we can’t force our children to Eat, Sleep, or Poop, we must BACK OFF. Yet, how to encourage healthy eating habits? And how to cope with the obvious complications of No Healthy Food — constipation, and it’s negative impact on potty training?
I wish it was as simple as many of our pediatricians say: “Encourage fruits, vegetables, and whole fibers. Have them drink a lot of water.” OK — but HOW?! Most preschoolers will turn up their cute little noses at a plate of healthy food — or even something that looks just a little DIFFERENT than what they’re used to eating.
My take on it: This is an opportunity to walk the precariously thin line between ENCOURAGEMENT and PRESSURE. Do we give up trying? No. Do we get frustrated and beg, plead, cajole, or bribe them? Nope. But we DO encourage — with a parenting trick up our sleeves.
So, try this, a daily tactic in our house: It’s the One Molecule Rule. We serve meals in courses: Healthy foods first. Each kid gets a serving of either a fruit or vegetable — kid-friendly — think carrot strips and ranch dressing, banana “coins”, or apples with peanut butter. Each kid’s serving must be finished before the rest of the meal becomes available to them. And by “serving size”, we start with One Molecule of something different. The other day, we tried pomegranates. One kid LOVES them, but one kid freaked out when he saw them. For him, the rule was One Seed. He had to eat ONE pomegranate seed before “unlocking” his turkey sandwich. And next time, his serving might be TWO seeds. Whatever it is, be reasonably sure that it’s a serving size he can handle — and maybe even feel proud of finishing. SMALLER IS BETTER, until they graduate up to the next level. Praise and reinforce even the most incremental progress. And of course — model the behavior you want them to emulate. OOH and AAH over your artichokes, brussels sprouts, and avocados. But let them go when they’ve had their molecule.
Because: Little kids are biologically programmed to avoid weird, unusual foods. It’s a survival thing from back in the day when weird foods could (and often did) kill them. So don’t blame your kids, work with them.
And the good news is this: With lots of encouragement over time, this too shall improve. To wit: My 9-year-old daughter, previously a card-carrying member of the “I Only Drink Juice And Eat Goldfish Crackers” club, asked for a CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD last night. And she LOVED it.
Aloha,
Dr. Heather
The BabyShrink
Mom of Four, Parenting Expert
27 Responses to Getting your preschooler to eat fruits and veggies
Leave a Reply
Follow Me!
Aloha, I’m Dr. Heather
Pingback: Tweets that mention Getting your preschooler to eat fruits and veggies : babyshrink.com -- Topsy.com
So wait — how does it work? Do you give them a “regular” portion of a healthy thing you know they will eat, PLUS a “molecule” of the new thing? Or if the healthy item of the night is unfamiliar, do you just give them a molecule of that, and then proceed to the rest of the meal? Also, if they refuse to eat even the molecule, what do you do?
OK, here’s the script:
1) Dinner time! What do you prefer — apple or banana? Give them a choice of 2 or 3 things. The post is written about kids who won’t eat ANY good food, so for them, anything healthy is molecule sized. But if your kid WILL eat banana, say, and you want to introduce broccoli, give the molecule of broccoli, give much fanfare, then the banana, then the meal. In fact, sometimes the molecule is simply LICKING the new food. Yay! Good job! –And next time, a molecule-sized piece is offered.
2) Give them their molecule of fruit or veggie. They need to finish this before ANYTHING ELSE is offered.
3) If they decline their molecule, that’s fine. Do not pass go, do not eat the rest of the meal. You’re excused. We’ll have breakfast in the morning — given they are healthy and doc says it’s OK. (And BTW, the Molecule Rule is in force at my house 3 meals a day.)
4) When something is unfamiliar, I give the smallest possible amount. I give barely noticeable increases each time, if they don’t seem to care.
5) If they don’t want the main dish I have prepared, they can always have their “fallback meal”, which around here is PB and J. Something easy that everyone will accept at our house. But always AFTER their fruit or veggie.
6) If your kids are good about eating healthy, then by all means, carry on! I have 2 kids who love their veggies, and 2 pasta and crackers only types. It really is genetic, I think!
Like I said, this is from the Parent Coaching files. A big deal, sometimes, and something that may need more personalized planning. But I hope the overall gist is clear?
Okay, this sounds like a good idea and one I can try. But I have on question. In your experience would you say that a 22 month old will really ‘get’ the concept of not getting to eat her regular meal until she eats a piece of vegetable (fruit, whole grains, low fat dairy..not a problem. Veggies? She won’t touch them)? I can see explaining this to a 3 year old and them getting it, but I worry that my kid will just break down in 2 year old tears and not get the point. Am I just don’t giving her enough credit?
Kathleen, I agree with your concerns about younger kids. This idea works best with preschoolers. 22 months is probably too young. What I suggest for toddlers is to offer a couple of healthy choices as a “focus” of each meal, even if she eats bananas each and every time, at least that’s SOMETHING fresh and healthy. If they reject the healthy food you can offer 1 or 2 easy choices that they might like, but don’t get sucked into the trap of being a short-order cook. That’s a sure way of feeding them pizza morning, noon and night!
As she gets older, closer to 3, you can start to institute the “One Molecule” rule, serving meals in courses with the healthy stuff FIRST, and my other suggestions in the post. You have to be the judge of when YOUR kid is old enough to understand the concept — you don’t want to start a food struggle, but you also don’t want to get tricked into McNuggets 3 times a day
Overall, give them the message that treats — including “junk” like fast food, pizza etc — are for special occasions, weekends, or whatever your family decides is the best frequency. Then really enjoy the treats — but remind them that “tomorrow is a regular day for healthy foods”. Good luck and let me know how it goes!
Thanks for your suggestion Dr. Heather. We are lucky in that our daughter loves a lot of healthy foods like fruit, plain unsweetened yogurt and whole grains. It is really just vegetables she won’t touch and apparently she will eat them at the day home. (Peer pressure works!) Junk food is never on the menu, although she loves my homemade pizza! Anyway, I appreciate you clarifying. Often ideas to help kids eat better are really geared for older kids.
Peer pressure is a tactic to celebrate, especially when it comes to veggies!
Sounds like she is starting out great. We have good luck with thin carrot strips with the offer to dip in ranch dressing (I get an organic one), or peanut butter. And weirdly, ALL our kids — even the picky ones — love artichokes, especially with a creamy dipping sauce. It took a few exposures to understand how artichokes “work”, but it was worth it! Cold or room temperature broccoli and cauliflower are also accepted more readily — especially with the ranch dressing — I think warmer temps make the flavor come out more.
Thank you!! We do the “one molecule” thing but not the “unlocking” of the stuff they like – I love that idea! Mahalo nui!
Thanks for the tips!! Here our conundrum…4 year old daughter is in the 5th$ and super small. If we did this she would be thrilled because then she would not have to eat at all! We struggle to even get her to eat food she likes. Dr. recomendes Carnation IB which we do, but mealtime is literally a daily struggle!
Cecelia ~
I know it’s hard not to worry about a little peanut. But I assume that if she is consistently low on her growth curve — and healthy nonetheless — that she is FINE. Some kids are teeny, some are huge, and everything in between. Just like adults! The important thing to remember is that you want HER to learn to be in touch with her internal hunger cues. If she is always hearing “EAT!” from adults, it might drown out her little “i’m hungry!” voice from inside. She can push back, and a power struggle will ensue. Not a good precedent for later.
I also have faith in the hunger signals of healthy, typically developing children. I have a 9-year-old who was 10% on her weight curve — until the age of 4 — and now she’s about 40%. So these things can change. It was really hard not to worry and stress about it so I understand — but you truly can’t force her. Try to sit back and let her follow her hunger — she may test you for a few days, to see if you’re really serious about letting HER be in charge — but I will bet that she won’t let herself waste away
Good luck and let us know!
Thanks so much for the advice. I will follow it. ANd she has been consistently low since being born at 5 lbs, 15 oz. Thanks again…I will be sure to share this fantastic site!
Let us know how your little peanut progresses! Lots of other parents share your concerns, so let us know how it goes with the “no pressure” approach. Aloha!
Love the word play, Dr. Heather.
I think the key is each food much be finished until the next is introduced, as you said. If children are offered a choice, they will choose the goldfish crackers over the carrots, duh!
Early on, I decided I couldn’t afford the emotional energy that went into ‘bargaining’ over meal times. I remember watching my sister give up when my nephew was 2 y/o, and thinking, “no wonder he only craves french fries and pizza.”
As I like to ask parents I work with, “who’s in charge, here?” And if the toddler is in charge of meal times, what’s going to happen in *sigh* adolescence?
Thanks for the tips;).
Pingback: I’m going to give this a try… « followyourtrail
You’ve just got to keep trying! It can take up to 20 times before a kid will like something new. Start small so they don’t get overwhelmed. We give our kids fruit and juice smoothies, beets, bananas, kale, cabbage, tomatoes…you name it, blended with unsweetened apple juice (all organic). It’s a great way to get the 5-9 servings in!
That’s a great tip. You know those veg-o-matic type blenders? We saw one demonstrated at CostCo — the guy threw in tons of stuff — carrots, celery, an entire papaya, watermelon — rind and all — and the kids LOVED the smoothie. So I got one and never regretted the investment. Each time, I have the kids pick what we throw in, and it invests them in at least TRYING it. They almost always love their creations — a little honey never hurts though
Hi Dr Heather!!!
I just wanted to comment and let everyone know that I tried this suggestion and got some good results! In the past, I would put my son’s plate full of food in front of him and he would eat his favorite (not always the healthy choice) until it’s gone and then be done. This way, at the beginning of the meal and at his hungriest, he eat the healthier choice and actually enjoys it. The next “course” is also great motivation to finish the first “molecule.” For example, I places one baby carrot and three kidney beans on his plate and once he finished that, he could start on his grilled cheese. I like this idea and I will continue to use it. Thanks a bunch!!!
A couple of thoughts:
My husband recently declared that I couldn’t have dessert until I had another bite of broccoli, and I hated him, hated the broccoli and hated myself for it. It was meant to be joking, but I felt like it put me in a bind in front of the kids – I had already eaten more than I wanted to of the broccoli, but I didn’t feel I could decline without breaking ranks in front of the kids on the food issue. It was a bit of a silly situation, but it really made me think about this kind of approach where you order someone to eat in a certain way. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not a great way to encourage kids to want to eat good food.
My version of the molecule trick is to offer a healthy ‘snack’ or first course to nibble on while I make the fallback food (also PB&J in our house), and more often than not, even though my newly picky preschooler has said he won’t eat veggies of any type, by the time I have finished making the sandwich, he’s eaten at least some of the healthy appetizer on the table. Another trick I use is offering a new food side by side with a smaller portion of a favourite food (half a PB&J sandwich plus something new, for instance). It does remain a rule in our house that you can’t skip dinner and still get dessert, but we don’t require a clean plate.
Great ideas, Bree! There’s a fine line to walk, and parents can easily go to one extreme or the other. TOO controlling — or TOO lax — neither are good (as in most parenting issues). Having the kids eat healthy stuff when they’re hungry — munching and noshing (as opposed to “eat your veggies!”) is the way to go.
Thanks for this article, Dr. Heather!
What’s interesting is that there have been studies that recently came out that have showed that foods that the mother ate during her pregnancy are typically the foods the child likes to eat (one he has a “voice” and can express it). So, if while pregnant carbs, starches, and junk food were the preference or cravings of the mother, this may actually cause her trouble in the form of her child’s body having a memory of these foods (after all, his body is literally composed of these foods) and craves them.
Seems like there are so many reasons a child would have a hard time with fruits and veggies! Thanks again for the posting!
Thanks Liz! Although those findings sure don’t apply with my kids — the baby with whom I had the worst eating habits puts us all to shame with his veggie-loving ways. Of course the overall eating style of the family is something that gets absorbed by our kids, I don’t want preggo moms to have yet another thing to worry about. My advice is to eat as well as is reasonable in pregnancy, knowing that our bodies are miraculous baby-growing machines!
I know I’m late to the conversation but I just ran across this blog entry via Twitter. I’ve been thinking/writing about this topic recently. Another suggestion is to try different preparations of veggies. For example, roasting veggies really brings out their natural sweetness. I’d much rather eat a hunk of roasted cauliflower than raw or steamed. In fact, many vegetables, if completely raw, have a little bit of bitterness to them and, for many kids (and adults), are just too hard/crunchy. Blanching them softens ‘em up a bit but still leaves enough texture to make them appealing. And I’m a huge proponent of dipping – finger food is just more interesting to eat! (FYI – I just posted a blog entry on a related topic: the messages we send kids about food. Check it out at http://tiny.cc/nb3wm) Kathy
Thanks, Kathy. I agree that experimenting with preparation really helps. TEXTURE also makes a big difference, depending on your little ones’ preferences. Many kids have a natural preference for crunchy/hard vs. soft/mushy (or vice-versa). Think about that issue in relation to your specific kids to make headway into healthy foods. For instance, I have one kid who loves carrot sticks and crunchy stuff, but loathes creamy/mushy — and one kid who is the opposite. Having one of each option at most meals helps out a lot!
Pingback: Poop Metamorphasis | One Mom's Balancing Act
Pingback: Poop Metamorphasis | One Mom's Balancing Act
My 2.5 year old will not eat fruits or veggies. Ive read posts like this but usually it wii say – but he eats bananas or he eats carrots. My don will not eat any nor will he drink juice. He used to est them at daycare before he was 2 but will no longer eat them. I give him the baby Multi vitamin drops because I don’t think hes getting proper nutrition (he won’t take chewables). I can count on my 2 hands the foods he will eat. Ive talked to his doctors and they just suggest vitamins.
Morgan, Is it possible your son has any sensory issues? Some children can’t handle the texture of fruits and veggies and there are specialists who can help. Ask his pediatrician for a referral for an Early Intervention developmental evaluation — every community in the US has this available to children 3 and younger. If that’s not the issue, keep offering a variety of foods, make sure he sees YOU enjoying your healthy foods, and stay out of a struggle. Good luck.