My Third Kid Hates Kindergarten Too!
See? I’m 5 now!
Remember this guy? This sweet, cuddly, awesome 4-year-old? Well, now he’s a big 5-year-old, and he’s been in kindergarten for about 7 weeks. He started out with an enthusiastic bang, but now we’re dealing with tears and major foot-dragging when it comes to going to school.
I know, I know — I shouldn’t be surprised. “Help! My Kindergartener Hates School All of a Sudden!” is one of my most popular posts — and a very common parenting dilemma. Fact is, young children are totally different animals than “school aged” kids — and by that, I mean 8-year-olds and up. Little kids are still developmentally more like preschoolers. And that means they’re likely to change their minds about — well, just about everything. So, starting off kindergarten all excited — then losing steam after a few weeks — isn’t a surprise. Check out my post (and the growing comment section, with my additional suggestions) for coping ideas.
And hang in there, if you’ve got a balking kindergartener. Usually, if you can support your child through this tricky developmental stage, the protests wind down by Thanksgiving.
In the meantime, Happy Halloween!
Aloha,
Dr. Heather
The BabyShrink
6 Responses to My Third Kid Hates Kindergarten Too!
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Aloha, I’m Dr. Heather
My daughter started out her kindergarten year just great and was excited and loved school until the middle of 4th quarter when she all of a sudden decided she didn’t want to go anymore! She cried almost every morning for two weeks while we (teacher, counselor and I) tried to figure out what she was stressing out about. The best we could figure out and the only reason she could give us was she didn’t like the strict, very rigid style of the Kupuna that would come in once a week for Hawaiian Studies. Apparently, she would scold the kids that didn’t color exactly the way she said! My daughter would be worse on the days she knew Kupuna would be there. I’m not convinced that was the entire reason, but after a couple weeks my daughter was back to normal and now that she’s in first grade, she’s back to loving school.
Aloha Fran!
Yes ~ sometimes, there is a teacher or subject that the kids don’t like — and that’s understandable. Nobody likes everyone and every subject. The key is trying to help your child figure out who or what the problem is — and then make a plan to deal with it. Often, it’s enough to simply figure out what the problem is. My child really protested going to school on Fridays, and it took us a few weeks to help him explain to us that he really didn’t like having to stand up and do the “Pledge of Allegiance” at Friday assemblies. The whole process was new to him, and he didn’t feel like he knew how to do it well enough. We spoke with his teacher and the whole class was practicing the Pledge anyway. Once he felt more comfortable with it, the Friday tears stopped!
But I think it’s hard for parents to remember that our kids often don’t just know what the problem is — they only have a vague sense that “I don’t like school”. It takes all of our parental listening and detective powers to help figure out the exact problem. Then, it gives them great experience in figuring out such concerns the next time they come up. Great example! Mahalo!!
I think this article is way too simplistic. Kindergarten is not too young to be bullied, learning disordered, incompatible with a teacher, or savvy to the fact that this school is not for them. You need to really listen and explore the resistance of your little one. My kids went to a Waldorf kindergarten and couldn’t wait to go there in the morning. My daughter said it was the best year in school for her until now.
Hi Susan,
I agree with everything you said, and in my article and comments I stress the importance of finding the source of the child’s resistance. Difficulties can lie anywhere, and it takes parents’ intuition, and patience, to put all the bits of info together to find answers.
It’s hard to deal with kids hating school but my trick would be a heart to heart talk to your child and observe her behaviour after school. I also prepare treats that would make her love school.
Love this, especially when it comes to kids development skills.