Archive for the ‘BEST OF BABYSHRINK’ Category:
My Most Popular Post
There’s no way I could do a one-year retrospective without starting with DadGoneMad’s Danny Evans. Danny and his Hot Wife have been there for me from the beginning stages of BabyShrink, and have been endlessly supportive, inspirational and encouraging.
When I was freaking out about my lack of technical abilities, Danny calmed me down. “You’re doing just fine, Heh. This stuff isn’t as difficult as you think it is. It’s going to be awesome!” When I had no confidence in my writing, he was my editor extraordinaire. When I lost my way and wondered if anyone would find my blogging helpful, Hot Wife reassured me, gave me suggestions, and never fed me platitudes. I can always count on Sharon to tell it to me straight.
Danny inspired me to go online with BabyShrink as I saw him struggle with depression, and reveal his inner workings to the world in hopes that he could help others in the process. The note he hits with millions of readers worldwide convinced me that blogging can be a powerful way to help others — and help ourselves in the process.
So if you missed my interview with Danny, here it is. Because of the power of the DadGoneMad readership, and the tsunami of traffic Danny sent me, this is my most-read post ever. Enjoy!
Aloha,
Dr. Heather
The BabyShrink
A New Post for a New Year
Those of you who follow me here at BabyShrink haven’t had much to follow lately. The economic crisis has hit my “day job” pretty hard, so like the rest of you, our family is struggling to come to terms with some tough new realities. The end result is — fewer posts.
But that doesn’t mean my dedication has flagged. In fact, this week marks the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of BabyShrink, and I’m taking the opportunity to review the excitement of the past year, and thank you all for the success that this site continues to be.
BabyShrink started as an outlet for me to share my passion for understanding the development of babies, young children, and parents. In my practice, I evaluate and treat (mostly) toddlers whose development has somehow gone awry. Many of these cases involve complex problems like autism, chromosomal defects, trauma, or abuse. But the majority of questions I get about these children have less to do with their complex disorders — and more to do with basic, “run-of-the-mill” child development and parenting issues. Parents in rural areas such as mine have little access to this kind support and information. So I decided to make my parenting suggestions and resources available online.
It’s been a thrill to discover that parents all over the world have found helpful information on BabyShrink. Each day, I eagerly check my “stats” to see what parts of the world my readers are from: Latvia, Australia, Singapore, Turkey, Hong Kong, Trinidad and Tobago, and Canada are on today’s list of visitors. And I’m especially thrilled to give a shout-out to all my American compatriots and readers; today I see you coming in from Yonkers, Berkeley, Des Moines, Anchorage, and a dedicated reader from Cranberry Township, PA who pored over 13 posts this morning. Aloha and mahalo to you all!
Over the next week, I’ll be revisiting some of your all-time favorite posts…you might be surprised (as I am) at my “most-Googled” articles. I’ll also give you a bit of an insider’s glimpse into what it’s been like for a shrink like me to reinvent herself as a blogger, with a shoestring budget and not a lick of technical know-how (all while juggling a marriage, three young children, and my PAYING shrink job). I hope I can inspire you to chase down your own dreams in the process…and continue to encourage you to let “good enough” be GOOD ENOUGH in our efforts to raise our kids.
For a trip down memory lane, I’ve included a link below to my very-first introductory post, published one year today. It’s fun to see that, despite some unpredicted twists and turns, we’ve been able to stick to our goals and interests here. Enjoy!
Welcome To BabyShrink: March 6, 2008
Aloha,
Dr. Heather
The BabyShrink
MORE on Poop-Smearing: A Complicated Case
“What,” you may ask, “is the most popular ‘lurkers’ topic at BabyShrink?” Is there a common theme that brings the most readers to this site?
Yes, there is.
Every day, I check my WordPress “Stats” to see what parents have been reading on BabyShrink. I think it’s hilarious that each and every day I get several Google “hits” from people entering in phrases like this to the search box:
My toddler smears poop everywhere, what do I do?
They end up on this page, which is my all-time most-read post. And if you’ve read the post, you know that I laugh from all-too-knowing experience.
But every so often, I get a question from a reader who needs more help with this problem; it’s progressed past the point of my suggestions. So yes, dear readers, it’s time for yet another poop-smearing post:
Dear Dr. Heather,
My three-year-old daughter has been smearing poop, and it has increased in frequency. Not only does she smear her poop everywhere, but she also has a corner in my living room where she, for the lack of a better term, “marks her territory.” She knows when to pee on the potty and does it fine. But more lately, she will strip off her pull-up and go to that corner to either pee or smear her poop. I don’t know what to do since EVERYTHING I have tried seems not to work. I have had extreme difficulty with her potty training, which her doctor said is normal due to the fact that she is extremely hyperactive and just doesn’t want to stop. He says she is afraid to miss something. I realized that almost a year ago her father stopped coming around, and it has been almost a year since she began this frustrating habit. But it’s gotten worse lately and I don’t know if it’s an outcry towards me because she is possibly mad at me for her father not being around?? Also I am a single mother and although I was able to quit my job and be with her recently i am still not able to give her my 110% attention all the time. I don’t know…all I know is I need help. I can’t handle this…nor can I STOMACH this anymore!! Thank you for your time.
“Tired of Cleaning Up After the Little Stinker”
Dear Tired,
Sounds like you have a complex problem here. If her pediatrician says there is nothing medically or developmentally wrong, you can try using some of these techniques:
First, try some concrete behavioral strategies. Does she have a usual time of day when she poops? Most toddlers do it about the same time each day, and only do it once. If she does, watch her closely until she’s made her poop. Don’t let her wander away from you unobserved until she has pooped. Then you can give her a little more free-reign after you know she’s done for the day. Also, you can dress her in a more restrictive way until she has done her poop. Get a larger size onesie, with perhaps some leggings over it, to put her in until she’s pooped. If she lets you know in advance that she needs to go, fine. You can help her get undressed and to the toilet. If not, it’s OK for now if she goes in her pull-up.
You might also move around things in “her corner”, making it a difficult or unappealing place to spend her time. Experiment with furniture in the room to see if you can re-configure it to “eliminate” that place where she usually goes. Change around the whole room so her association to it is also changed. Make “her corner” a more focal place of the room, so that it’s not a hideaway, and she can’t have any privacy there.
Don’t make a big deal about using the potty right now. She’s giving you mixed messages about being ready, and in that case, the advice is usually to back off from potty training. Let her be in charge of when she uses the potty. But do be clear with her that smearing poop or going on the floor is NOT an option. It’s yucky. Mommy does not like to clean that up. But when she DOES successfully use the potty, make a big deal out of it. Hurray! What a big girl! It’s so nice and clean when you go in the potty! Consider giving her a small treat (one jelly bean, for example) every time she does go to the potty, even if it’s just to pee. And try not to be scolding if she goes in her pull-up. Just be matter-of-fact about it, and clean it up.
I also would not use punishment if she smears poop again. You might remove her from the “scene of the crime”, since you have to sanitize it. Be serious, but neutral. Remind her where she should go, and that poop does not belong on the walls or the floor.
Also, it’s important to give her plenty of opportunity to play with acceptable, squishy, messy things like finger paints, play-doh, even mud pies. She clearly likes the feeling of it; give her ample opportunity to make a mess in an acceptable way. Tell her when you’re playing with messy things, “This is fun to be messy. We can be messy with paints!”
You ask about the impact of her Daddy leaving, and whether that is related. I can’t judge that from here. But you can ask yourself about the impact it has had on YOU. If you have been upset, if things have been very different around the house, you can bet your daughter has picked up on that. But is it related to the poop-smearing? Difficult to say. If you need more input about that, I would suggest talking with a licensed therapist who has a specialty in working with young children. And if you’re having trouble coping, please seek out some help. A little bit of good therapy can go a long way — and help you to trouble-shoot when difficult times arise!
Try some of these strategies, and let us know how it goes!
Aloha,
Dr. Heather
The BabyShrink
