Work/Life Balance with Young Children

It’s a fact of life: Whether you work at home or out of the home, part time or full time, life with young kids is always a juggling act. Achieving balance is really only aspirational — never truly possible. But living in Hawaii has shown me that surfing is an apt metaphor for what we more »

Tammy Pescatelli — TV Star, Comedienne, and “Good-Enough” Mom Extraordinaire

I’ve been doing some serious writing now for several months, so it was refreshing to have a fun conversation with Tammy Pescatelli recently. She’s mom to a preschooler, star (and producer) of her own TV show, and hardworking stand-up comedienne. With credits like Leno, Carson Daly, and Last Comic Standing to her name, plus winner more »

BabyShrink’s Thinking Points for Parents

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of requests for expert comments on baby stuff: parenting mags who want info for their stories. I’ve got a love-hate relationship with those magazines. They recycle the same old stuff,  and aren’t in-depth enough to get down into the heart of the issue. So parents are left with a more »

Building Good Financial Values in Young Children

There’s lots of talk (and worry) about money these days, and we’re all thinking about our families’ budgets. My friend and colleague Dr. Brad Klontz talks about financial well-being, and how it doesn’t “just happen”. Like part of any healthy lifestyle, there are skills to be learned, bad habits to be eliminated, and good attitudes more »

How the Economic Downturn Makes Us Better Parents

Families have been hit hard by the recession — I see it every day in my practice. But you’d think that wealthier parents would be having an easier time than they are. Instead, they’re scrambling. Because parents who relied on money to raise good kids had their priorities messed up, and now they’re getting their more »

How To Handle A “Bottle Strike” By Your Baby — A Pint-Sized Parenting Tip

A common parenting problem: The Baby Refuses a Bottle — And Mom Works (or otherwise can’t always be with the baby). Here are some tips: Prevention and Practice. If you expect her to take a bottle intermittently, you’ve got to keep up the practice. Have her take a bottle at least every 1-2 days — more »

Sweet Sleep Success

It’s hard to believe, but 6 weeks ago I was in agony, being awakened 6 or 7 times a night by a 7-month-old baby who seemed desperate to nurse each and every hour over night. I was at DefCon 7, or 8, or 47, or whatever the highest possible number might be for Maternal Sleep more »

When Baby Prefers One Parent: What To Do?

Dear Dr. Heather, Our 25-month-old granddaughter has an unusually strong attachment to her mother. Her parents have been very responsive to her since her birth. Our toddler is easy with other people including her regular caregiver, grand-parents, other extended family and just about everyone else. The problem is that when her mother is around she more »

How To Cope While Sleep Training Your Baby

We’re doing our own version of Sleep Training around here, since baby #4 has proven to be immensely resistant — and LOUD — in our efforts to help her sleep through even a decent portion of the night. Adorable as she is, she’s the most rotten sleeper I’ve yet produced. Tough Love is in order. more »

A Granddaughter’s Stress about a New House and a New Baby

Dear Dr. Heather, My 2-year-old granddaughter is stressed about her new house. Her parents moved a couple of weeks ago, and then her mother had a new baby. Emma seems to “love” her new brother, so I can’t imagine that he is upsetting her. But I am concerned that her mother is not giving Emma more »

How to Leave Your Baby for the First Time

I get a weird, quivery feeling in my stomach when I think back to the time, 8 years ago, when I first left our first child in the care of a sitter. That sitter, Keri, has gone on to become a part of the family — a central figure in our lives and the reason more »

The “Good Enough” case against over-parenting

One of the central themes of my parenting approach is to go for “Good Enough”. Forget about perfection in parenting; it’s all about pragmatics. Balancing YOUR needs with the needs of your kids. Filtering out the pressure we get from the media to have perfectly sculpted kids from the beginning; babies who have been delivered more »

All that anxiety for nothing!

Here’s our new baby girl, 7 lbs, 13 ounces, 5 days old: After feeling lousy all day, it finally occurred to me that — duh — it might be labor. It was then that I decided to head down to our local Safeway, which inexplicably has the only supply of H1N1 vaccines on the island, more »

Being a good mom and NOT breastfeeding

So I’m still huge, and not yet in labor. Luckily the doctor has caved and agreed to schedule an induction for 10/19, if I haven’t delivered by then. But in the meantime I’m looking for anything to take my mind off the discomforts and anxieties of imminent labor. Reader Lisa made my day with this more »

Baby? Who’s having a baby? Anxiety and impending birth.

Somehow, this pregnancy has settled into a nice routine. At 38 weeks and counting, my body seems to have adjusted to the aches, pains, and lack of sleep I’ve been griping about for months. Somehow, it seems like the “new normal”. Even my ankles would agree; instead of 2 pork chops protruding from the bottom more »

The “Birth Plan” — a lesson in futility

A first-time expectant mom asks: “Do you recommend any techniques for my upcoming labor and delivery? Does anything, in your experience, make things easier or more manageable in the delivery process? I’m trying to develop my Birth Plan. Thanks for your help!” Seeing as though we’re expecting my FOURTH labor and delivery in a few more »

A reminder about postpartum depression, with resources

I’m not prone to depression; I’m more of an anxious type, with a tendency to overreact and sweat the small stuff. So when our (4th) baby is born (I’m 30 weeks along now, folks!), I’m anticipating some hormonal upheavals (as well as the excruciating sleep deprivation that comes along with a new baby), but not more »

Pregnant with Baby #4 (and I Just Turned 41)

Dear Readers, This post isn’t an emailed question from one of you. It’s from me, your BabyShrink. I can finally come out with the news I’ve wanted to tell you for 18 weeks now: I’m pregnant! This has come as somewhat of a surprise to us, although a very welcome one. Many of you recall more »

In Praise of Attachment Parenting (Sort Of)

Every week, I buy groceries at our grungy, local health-food store. My daughter affectionately dubbed it “The Stinky Market” — partly because of that characteristic “health-food store” smell, but also because of the bodily odors emanating from some of the motley group of customers frequenting the place — a weird combination of surfers, hippies, homeless more »

Is “Attachment Parenting” Bad for the Child?

Dear Dr. Heather, Does breastfeeding past 2 years of age encourage dependency? I know a child who is still breastfeeding and has become very whiny and attached to her mother. The mother is making no effort to wean the child. Is this type of emotional attachment healthy for the child? She still wakes up to more »

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