Archive for the ‘Sleep’ Category:
Weird Pregnancy Dreams? I Need Yours!
Miriam in Florida emailed me with some fascinating questions about dreams, whether her baby Griffin could be having them at night when
he whimpers and cries in his sleep, and about her own dreams, when she was
pregnant with him.
great article here if you want to read about infant dreams, and I like the Dr.
Greene site in general. So check that out. But before you go over there, finish
this post, because I need your help. I’m planning a series on Pregnancy Dreams,
and I need your submissions!
This is a photo of me, 9 months pregnant. Honestly, I’m not sure how I’m even standing upright. I was so sleepless at that point - disturbed by various aches and pains, and having distressing and intense dreams when I COULD sleep!
are some interesting commonalities among pregnancy dreams. They tend to be unusually vivid,
action-packed, and bizarre. We tend to remember them better than at other times
of our lives, too.
recalls, from one of her pregnancy dreams:
stock pot on the floor in the kitchen. There is no steam, but I know they’re
boiling. I’m stirring them with a long-handled slotted-spoon. The water begins
to boil away and now I am sauteeing them in the same pot. My husband is trying
to get me to make some chicken, then says that we need to go burn the marshland
to get rid of the mosquitoes. I tell him we have to talk to the committee about
it.
potatoes” as a metaphor for pregnancy. But I need Miriam’s reflections and
associations to help better understand the rest of the meaning of the dream.
She included some of the background in her email to me, so when I compile the
series, I’ll be able to share some of my interpretations with you.
of your own dreams to me at BabyShrink[at]gmail.com, and I’ll include them with
the series. It promises to be fun, interesting and illustrative of the powerful
experience of pregnancy!
Mom Kelley Tells Us How Ben is Sleeping Now
Yesterday, I posted the first half of my conversation with
Kelley, Mom to 13-month-old Ben. Ben was making his parents crazy from lack of
sleep, and they were desperate enough to try anything.
I gave them some suggestions designed to send Ben a
clear, consistent message about sleeping through the night, in his own crib. Read
on to see what happened!
Dear Dr. Heather,
I am happy, so happy, to report that Ben is now sleeping
in his crib and more often than not, sleeping through the night! We still stay in his room until he falls
asleep, but he has accepted the crib and sleeping on his own. And once, he even fell asleep
Thanks so much for your advice. Although he still cries almost every night, it’s more of an
unwinding cry, not a distressing cry that I associate with the "cry it
out" method. Ben wakes up in a
good mood because I think he’s proud of himself for being such a big boy! My husband and I needed to get used to sharing
a bed, but it didn’t take long for us to feel like a married couple
again.
We
started by creating a game plan based on your suggestions. Our first goal was to get him to go to sleep
in his current bed (mattress we placed on the floor of his room) without us
snuggling him. To do that, we started
by talking to him about going "night-night" by himself and how mommy
and daddy loved him very much and how proud we were of him. Then after his bath, we made a production
about saying
and my husband left the room while I stayed and sat at the end of his bed. When he got up to come to me, I placed him
back on his pillow and told him that I loved him and it was time to go "night-night."
It took
about 45 minutes, but he finally realized that I wasn’t going to snuggle him
and he focused on getting comfortable and eventually fell asleep. In the beginning, he woke up a couple of
times during the night and we had to snuggle him down once or twice. We did
that for about a week and then we re-introduced him to his crib by putting him
in during the day with some of his toys. That night, we did our same bed
routine, made a production with kisses and good nights and then I put him in
his crib and told him to go "night-night." Me or my husband leave the crib and
on the bed in his room. He still sits
up and cries, but when we tell him to go "night-night" he immediately
lays down and stops crying while he rolls around trying to get
comfortable. We may do that a couple of
times, but the key is that he knows that we aren’t going to be picking him up. We
will soon start leaving the room while he is still awake, but we are so happy
with our situation now, that we will not force the issue.
Talking
to him about exactly what we were going to do was probably the most important
aspect of our plan (that, and following through with it).
I never
would have thought that he would understand what I was saying to him. It’s actually funny to watch him throw
himself down in his crib when I tell him that it’s time to go night-night. He understands right away.
When he
wakes up in the mornings, we rush in to get him and tell him that we are so
proud of him for sleeping all by himself and how much we love him.
I swear
it’s changed our relationship because I’m communicating with him so much more
than I did before you suggested it.
We’re
all happier now and better able to handle the stubborn, independent behaviors
that he is starting to demonstrate. 
He
really seems happier than before.
again for your guidance!
What has worked for you to get your baby to sleep through the night, in their own crib? Post a comment to share your ideas!
“Ben Won’t Sleep in His Crib!” Mom Kelley Tries BabyShrink’s Advice
BabyShrink reader
Kelley is the Mom to this adorable guy, Ben. Kelley had a really rough time getting
Ben to sleep in his crib, and sleep through the night. Kelley emailed me for suggestions, and we
developed a plan to help take back the nights for herself and her hubby. Read
our conversation below to see what happened!
Dear
BabyShrink,
little boy has had sleep difficulties since the day he was born despite us
establishing a "bedtime routine" (long walk outside and bath) very
on. Because we decided not to let him
"cry it out," he has always had a sleeping crutch; first it was
nursing, then bottles, then me or my husband. Only rarely has he slept through
the night, and recently, he’s been waking up every 2 hours. Our pediatrician cannot find any underlying
health problems and is from the "crying it out" school, so she
doesn’t offer any other suggestions.
very engaged, curious, FEISTY, smart little boy (purely unbiased description!).
Did I mention feisty? He has not demonstrated any allergies or
intolerance’s to foods or milk. He
doesn’t appear sensitive to noises or smells.
At
daycare, they put him in a crib and rub his back while he falls asleep. At home,
we had to put a mattress on the floor so that we can snuggle him to sleep and
be able to leave the room.
He has never
slept in his crib.
goes down without a fight, at least with us.
teething and we’ve given him Motrin right before bedtime in case
that was the culprit. Since he’s my
first child, I really don’t have anyone to compare him to. I thought that he’d be used to his bed and
nap time routines by now and things would be easier. But, it hasn’t. I don’t regret not letting him cry it out,
but I feel sometimes that he’s having a harder time because he doesn’t know how
to sleep on his own.
My husband and I haven’t shared a bed in a year and we’re ready to
reconnect before we start thinking about baby # 2!
normal behavior for a 13 month old? We
are all in desperate need of sleep. Any
suggestions would be appreciated!
Kelley
Richmond, Virginia
Hi
Kelley,
for your question. You must be exhausted!
very important that you found your son sleeps well at daycare. That tells us he is CAPABLE of doing
it….he’s just not WILLING! (at home, anyway.) So now, you have to decide…is it important to you to get him to be
more independent in sleep? Is it important to you and your relationship with your
husband to get some more time with him….and not always snuggling your son?
I am
assuming your answers are "yes". It also appears to me, by what you have said, that there are not other
issues keeping your son from sleeping better. (And of course double-check with the pediatrician, just to make sure I
am not missing anything.)
is about getting your son used to the idea of sleeping alone.
Start by
talking with him about it. "You know, you are such a big boy, and you
sleep so nicely at daycare, we are going to start sleeping better at home too.
Mommy and Daddy and you all feel so much better when we sleep ALL NIGHT LONG,
in our OWN BEDS. Won’t that be great? Mommy will be SO HAPPY!" Mention it here and there throughout the day,
and as you get ready for sleep.
Then,
break the process down into several small steps, with the idea of slowly but
surely physically moving away from him in bed, getting him used to sleeping
without you.
Analyze
the situation. First, perhaps you snuggle him to sleep, but when he is almost
asleep, you slide down off the mattress, but still rub his back. Remind him
"Don’t worry, I am here. It’s OK to go to sleep." Get him used to that; it may take one night,
it may take 2 weeks. Then, pick the next
step. It might be sitting on the floor next to the mattress while he falls
asleep. Then when he is used to that, perhaps you sit by the door and talk with
him while he falls asleep, all the while soothing him and congratulating him
for being such a big boy and a GREAT SLEEPER, and HOW PLEASED YOU ARE that he
is doing so well. Eventually you will
move to having him PLAY in his crib, then put him in his crib when tired, talk
to him about how great it will be to SLEEP in his crib, etc. Take small steps toward your ultimate goal.
Each
step could take a day, a week, or more. But DON’T GIVE UP. He is likely to be
the most resistant at first, when things start to change. But hang in there!
I know
you don’t want him to ‘cry it out’, but you CAN let him fuss a bit, at times.
He of course will protest giving you up at night….but as he moves into
becoming a bigger toddler, you are going to have to start getting him used to
new limits anyway. Don’t feel bad…believe me, when you get a taste of having
your nights back for you and your hubby, you will be so glad!!! And a happy mommy (and daddy) mean a happier
toddler.
Make
sure you and hubby stick together on this…it is an important message to send
to Ben…that Mommy and Daddy’s relationship is of paramount importance in the
house. Even more important than Ben’s preferences, actually.
Because a strong
parental relationship is ultimately super-important in the development of a
confident and happy child. Better to have a little fussing from him, if it means
YOU TWO get to re-connect, and strengthen that couple bond.
HAVE FUN
and let me know how it goes!
Dr.
Heather
The
BabyShrink
Tomorrow, come back to see what happened when Kelley tried my suggestions!
